amazed.

July 21, 2002

it's been a while since i last wrote something.
i've had a pretty crazy and hectic week. lots of design projects to finish for this and that and things to plan. i didn't think i could do it. but God's been totally gracious. He's given me ideas for designs and He's given me time to finish all of them. it was awesome :)

i've been learning from my client that i have. he's been really open with me, telling me about what the business world is like. and i totally appreciate it. i've got a lot to learn. though, whether i actually go INTO the design world is another story. i can't be certain what my future looks like - only God knows that.

this morning, we had sunrise devotions. right smack early in the morning. we were down at scarborough bluffs at 5:00 am. not too many of us, but it was cool. i think one of the most amazing things i saw this morning was a whole mass load of birds on the beach. like honestly, it was insane. there must have been several dozen of them. they were all just hanging out on the beach. and it was cool, because i looked at them and the imagery of it blew me away. i was thinking about the song by david crowder, "all creatures of our Lord and King". i never really thought about CREATURES praising God. like nations bowing down before Him. but creatures, how does that work? but yeah, i was basically just standing in awe of God's glorious creation and admiring His awesome sunrise and it was like the birds were doing the same thing. all of them lined up on the beach looking into the sunrise and praising God. of course, who knows what they were really doing - but that's the imagery i saw. it was awesome :)

i had a drawing class today. it's basically my last one w/ him because he's going to china for a show or something. the interesting thing was, was that i sat down at a table with this girl who's interested in applying to the york/sheridan program next year. i didn't give it too much thought and continued my drawing. however, i noticed that she had a WWJD bracelet on her wrist, so i was thinking that's pretty cool. she's Christian! the thought of talking to her crossed my mind. but first of all, i'm shy so like i can't talk with people i don't know. it doesn't work. but then i thought, well she IS Christian, so she's just part of the family what's the big deal. and so i sat there struggling with the thought for quite some time. it was like, i could offer to answer any questions she might have about the program by giving her my e-mail address. but i wouldn't do it. i struggled and struggled with saying something. so finally, right at the END of class, i decided to finally say something. i felt like God was pushing me to speak up - but yeah, took me like a good hour or so to say something. why am i so dumb with this stuff? i'm shy like mad. i guess that's something that God'll have to work on, on me :)

so yeah, john 4:24 was tonight. WOW. man, it's really been a long time where i've felt that i truly encountered God in a musical worship setting. and i totally went expecting to meet Him - and for some reason i was worried that i wouldn't. it was only like the 3rd or 4th song when i totally connected with Him . during great in power and famous one. God gave me so much joy just singing about His name that i started tearing up. and when they did in the secret, it was all over :) everything started happening there. i love the fact that God knows us so intimately and we can worship Him so individually all at the same time. it makes no sense really, but it's so amazing. God truly is merciful! praise Him - all glory goes to Him.

musically, WOW! :) it was some insane stuff. i had forgotten just how good drew really is. oh man, he's like the craziest bass guy i've heard play live. he's super! so humbling. hahaha, i totally need tons of practise. i want to grow in my instrument so i guess i have some motivation. :) but yeah, musically they all connected so well - and the sets they chose were super. like the flow and everything was GREAT! such talented individuals :)

antioch - do people see me as a little Christ? i wonder - i'd like to think so. but there's a lot of me that needs tons of work. i'm for sure not like 100% hyprotically free. i know i do things that do not reflect what i say every now and then - we're all like that. but by God's grace, He'll transform into the likeness of Jesus! i think i just need to stop complaining (i know i've said this before) like altogether because it's not a good witness, especially with my school friends (like andrew). does he notice something different in me? or am i just like any other of his buddies? the life that leads to why........ that's what i'm trying to do - but i can't do it without God helping me...

the whole like writing on the ground was a genius idea. i really wanted to read all the things everybody wrote but unfortunately i didn't have the time. hopefully i can wake up early and head down there tomorrow and get some shots before church :) that'd be awesome.

it's quite late and i'm super sleepy :) God's just so amazing. tonight was a total blessing. me is feeling very happy :) g'nite!

Posted by Leo Chan at July 21, 2002 1:30 AM