the mystery of God

June 8, 2002

knowcean didn't call me back today.
that means, i'm still unemployed. i wonder what happened?
another shimmer of hope gone.

i kinda wonder what God is doing.
am i supposed to get a job this summer? what does He have in store for me? cuz there's like all these opportunities that seem to work, but something always happens and it doesn't. i have faith that i'll be doing what He wants me to do, but it's so hard sometimes to trust. i lack faith, i admit it. i used to think that i had pretty good faith, but i was totally off base there. it's just hard, you know? i mean i KNOW God has a plan for me, but maybe i'm just impatient. as time progresses, i'm like, what's going on here. because the summer has been going on for me for like 2 months. i'm still unemployed.

maybe it's cuz i can't handle all the stuff i have now, or least i don't think i can.

oh well! so an interesting thing happened at fellowship tonight. haven't been there in a while mind you, so it's kinda nice to be back :)
it was Bible study night, and two of the cell groups merged. God really moved in the discussion we had tonight. one of the guys like basically opened up to us about his whole life story (what's been going on, what he's struggling with) and all the people were trying to give advice to him and stuff. it was amazing. they didn't even really know who he was, and there he was opening up with us, and there we were trying to help him out. God's so cool like that. He can unite people from all different backgrounds and stuff just like that.
two things i learned: one of the young girls has super potential. the amount of stuff she knows is amazing :) i'm so impressed with her. and secondly, i need to try and be pro-active with ths guy. at least i think that's what i feel God is calling me to do. he's in need of some good Christian friends, and perhaps an 'older brother'. that could be me, i have no clue. all i know is that he needs is for God to do some mad intervening and re-ordering in his life. and i pray that he will know that God is always watching over him and that he knows that loves Him soooooooo very much. all i know is that he opened up to us, and now it's time that we did something for him. maybe that's just checking up on him, holding him accountable. or to stretch ourselves and love him. love often involves sacrifice. love does involve sacrifice. look what Jesus had to do.

the ultimate sacrifice. once and for all.

an aside: tomorrow's our meeting on the sound system at church. i wonder what will happen there? hopefully we can discuss in a mature and calm fashion, the issues at hand :) and that no one will get upset or anything over that. we're all on the same side! keeping that in my prayers. :)

it's kinda late, i'm supposed to talk with tim but i'm sleepy. hmmm. what to do. :) i have to be at church at 9, which means i should wake up at 8. it's 12:30 now, so that's 7.5 hours of sleep. *shrugs* :) oh well! that's it for now :)

Posted by Leo Chan at June 8, 2002 12:28 AM