a few interesting things..

June 11, 2002

it's 1:21 am. i really should be in bed.

it was an interesting day today, lots of stuff happened.

i woke up this morning, and went over to tim's house. we had a good chat. he's helped me clear up some issues or at least set me on the right track to clear up some things i've been thinking about.

first of all, the august 31st thing, i need to get in contact with AFC to see what they're doing for that frosh connections thing. see if we can like work with them to do a thing perhaps.

secondly, being a chinese Christian, and how that works. i've kind of forgotten about the whole thing since campus challenge or at least it's not bothering me as much as before. but i've been still thinking about it. as tim put it, it basically comes down to this: does your heart have a burden for the asian Christian community or not? i'm not really sure at this point. i haven't thought about it much. but yeah, he said an interesting thing. the fact that i understand there is a divide between the asian church and the caucassian church (and others) makes me a good missionary (hahaha) because i understand that there is cultural differences. never really thought about that in that way. but yeah, i'm not really sure. i love the fact that God's church is multi-cultural and diverse. i think i always will. i'm not sure if i need to be part of that or not at this point in time. *shrugs*

third, the whole idea of staying at markham or not come september. like i said before, half of me wants to stay and half of me just wants to get out for a while and just take a break. i know one thing for sure: there's no way i'm going to like completely leave the church. i just want a break. but tim suggested something interesting. instead of going to church and expecting to learn/grow or whatever, go there thinking/reflecting about the past week and praising God for it on sunday as a summation of the week and whatever that has happened in the week. that way i'm less focused on the church (although it's still important for there to be focus on church). that could work. i need to try and do that. :) i also think i should go back to sunday school. maybe i'll get to know the older uni ppls (like in caleb) or something and see how i'm feeling in september. cuz yeah, next year is gonna be like completely different. everyone's gone. it's gonna be so weird/hard for me i think. so yeah, if i get to know the caleb ppl, maybe it wouldn't be that bad? i'm still confused though about the whole situation. i know God will let me know sometime :)

anyhow, after that, i had to go get my cell phone fixed cuz it was super messed up. it would like turn on when it felt like it and everything. i thought it'd be a quick deal cuz i wanted to get home and study for my mid-term. BUT, it ended up taking like an hour and a half! crazy, huh? i was like getting upset because it was taking so long. like honestly now, how hard is it to switch a cell phone? you basically just like change the esn number and that's about it. but i was thinking, what was my problem. at least i have a cell phone to get switched. i complain too much. even if i'm trying not to verbally say it, i still complain too much in my head. i need to learn how to be more thankful.

then i went to pick up some business cards for my mom at the printing house that had a potential job for me. it was basically my last hope for a design job. and yeah, i'm not gonna get it. she wanted a person who can read/write chinese. that's so not me. she did get my info though, but that's not a big deal. it's not like she'll call back. *sigh* so now it's back to square one. i stil lhave nothing. iwhat the heck am i supposed to do this summer? i have no clue. maybe it's not a job.

when i got back home, i decided to grab a slice of pizza from pizza pizza. as i was sitting there, i watched a young boy hold his father's hand as they were walking by. what a beautiful picture. if only it were so easy to hold the hand of our Heavenly Father and just trust that He would bring us to wherever we needed to go. no questions, no fears, no anxieties, just trust. trust that our Father knows what's best. a child holds their parents hands because a) they trust & love them and b) they don't know where they are going and need guidance. it's like, if we could just hold the hand of our Heavenly Father for everything in life. it'd be so awesome cuz we'd be right in the will of the Father as He guides us to the places He wants us to go and do what He wants us to do. i'd like to be able to be like that. a child holding his father's hand.

school was okay, didn't fall asleep again cuz it was a lab :) keith and i went back to andrew's place after school and made dinner and stuff and hung out a bit. the funniest thing was, was while we were cooking dinner, andrew forgot to turn off his tap in the bathroom so eventually, the water flooded so his bathroom was drenched and a lot of carpet in his room was all wet. hahaha. so keith and i stayed to help soak up the water with towels and his clothes! lol :P but it was cool. we both gave up studying for the night to help him out. it's all good, we all still have tomorrow to study. i hope that we can absorb all the information in that short period of time :) but yeah, i think our friendships are growing and stuff. it's cool! :) i hope that he sees the light of Christ in me and keith. the life that leads to why.

anyhow, that's about it for now :) i'm tired. it's time to sleep. g'nite :)

Posted by Leo Chan at June 11, 2002 1:39 AM