children...

June 21, 2002

didn't do TOO much today. helped moved some stuff for my dad at his office but it was kinda pointless. oh well. i complain too much. this is like an habitual thing that i do. doesn't seem like i'm 'fully' satisfied in God. very far from it. i mean, i need to come to a place where i'm like not complaining so much as a result of realizing God's abundance of grace, love and provision for me.

i had drawing class since it's thursday. i was actually really impressed with something i drew today. cuz after i looked at it, i was like: 'huh? i did that?" i would have never known i could do anything like that. i guess i'im getting a little better, but still need TONS of practise. i still don't have a steady hand yet, takes time. i was walking home today from drawing class and i was just enjoying watching some kids play with each other. they have such wild imaginations, it's so great. i love kids. they're such beautiful beings. so innocent, so imaginative, so carefree. i wish i was a kid again. how i wish. they've got so much to teach me.

i went to gizelle's house today to watch a movie w/ velsie & justin. haven't hung out/seen gizelle in FOREVER! it was nice. we watched a movie called "i am sam". i actually never heard of it before, i like live in a box or something. lol. but wow! great movie. i didn't really expect too much when i heard what it was about, but thought what the heck, why not watch it? it's not like your typical movie. i mean, their central character was a 'retarded' person (i dont' think that's politically correct and i don't even like saying that to 'classify' those people) - so it was very different. but yeah, it was about the main character, sam and his daughter, lucy and their struggle of him being the 'right' father for her. to be honest, the movie kinda gave me some insight into people with that disability (of course not much, but a small small glimpse) and the persecution they face. why? just because they're different. why is that we as a people put others down when they are not the 'norm'. simply because they aren't what we are used to? it's so bad. i used to do it myself. make fun of people. why? to gain social acceptance? it's horrible. if i ever do that in the future, i should be slapped around or something. God makes each of us unique and different. but no matter what, or what we've done, we're still His children and created in His image. each and everyone of us. it's just a matter of seeing it in people and not seeing them for face value or giving up on them when we've dug a little bit, but not enough.

man, when i look at myself, i see all these areas in my life that need reshaping. sometimes i wish God would just change me with the snap of His fingers or something. if only it were so easy. i have all these shortcomings that hopefully will be replaced with good traits. but i mean, we can only be reshaped when we REMAIN in the potter's hands. not when we leave it or move away from it. when we REMAIN. it makes sense. :)

it'll be a short entry tonight. g'nite :)

Posted by Leo Chan at June 21, 2002 12:41 AM