God's amazing!

November 2, 2002

i've been realizing how much i miss being a part of the worship process in general, but really how much i miss leading worship. i haven't had the opportunity to do it for quite a while now, and i won't be having the opportunity to do it in a while!

i played for worship at CCC yesterday - that was interesting. lol. there's a lot of things that i would have done differently - i've been realizing also how people simply don't realize that there's more to leading worship than choosing songs and playing them. it's an art to put song sets together, incorpoating Scriptures - it's an art to arrange music in a certain way that'll help cultivate the best atmosphere to help people engage God!

i didn't get a chance to like talk to the people on the team, it was more like. show up. do your thing. it didn't really feel 'together' or integrated, like we were of one mind, one spirit type deal. and i think that's what it should be like, you know? a worship team should be on the same page, seeing where God's moving in His people and carrying that on forward.

i still feel awkward in CCC. i think i always will! i'm always like standing around by myself. yep. all by my lonesome, and i just hang around with myself until someone talks to me. i can't help it. i'm not outgoing. it's just not me!!! i can't just strike up small talk with people. i wonder if i'll ever feel part of CCC or just feel like a person who goes there every week. *shrugs* sari's having a birthday party tomorrow, she invited like all the CCC people to go. i dunno if i should go. i know if i go, i'll just feel awkward, like everything else, but at the same time it could be a good time to get to know people there. i dunno! i'm still debating it.

the guy was talking about, guess what? EVANGELISM! i just can't get away from it, can i? he was basically talking about the whole salt and light deal - nothing new, but it still got me thinking about things, especially the whole idea of salt having three functions: preservation, flavour and something else that i don't remember.

but you know what's really cool? i was going to go eat with all the CCC people just to hang out with them and stuff, but while i was waiting for them, my friend mandy came out of nowhere and said hello. so i talked with her for a while, and then i noticed that keith & silvia were like hanging out at a table, so i said hi to them too. and keith saw my guitar, so he played it for a while. but the REALLY cool thing was this: keith was playing some worship songs, and he'd start singing them, or silvia would ask him if he knew a song, and if he did, he'd play and sing it, and she'd sing it too! and all the meanwhile, mandy was watching it all happen. she's a non-Christian by the way, but she's had a lot of contact with the whole Christian world. so yeah, basically they're singing worship songs, and she's just watching/listening to it. i thought that was the coolest thing! she also kept bugging me to sing, cuz she heard that i sang well from keith, but i refused profusely. at some point, keith & silvia left, so it was just me and mandy. and then she asked me if i wanted to hang out with her and gavin later and since i haven't hung out with her in a while, i decided to go for it cuz it seemed like God was just taking what i heard in CCC, and like giving me an opportuniy or something with it.

anyway, i went back to mandy's place to wait for gavin to call, cuz i wanted to stick my guitar in her room. and she was bugging me to sing again, so i sang a worship song for her, since i don't know how to play anything else but Christian music :) and i sang her the song i wrote cuz she wanted to hear it (which is also a worship song). and i thought that was so cool! to her it might just be music, but if some of those lyrics start taking hold of her heart/mind, that'd be really cool! :)

gavin showed up eventually, and we went to the underground to check things out - the line was insane! and then his buddies showed up. they're not exactly the kind of people that i prefer to hang out with. so basically, they just wanted to go to the pubs on campus and drink. like geez! isn't there something else you could do to have fun? basically the pub was blaring loud music, people were dancing and people drank. none of which i was interested in. so eventually, i told him that i was just going to go home because i wasn't interested in doing that stuff. there's no way i'd sell out on my convictions. never!

on a completely different note, mike pinball clemons spoke today at SCBC. it was cool! we were leading worship, and wow. the crowd was singing it out. LOUD. that was great. i mean people were just going nuts!!! that's what it's all about. just like king david, when he danced before the Lord in his linen ephod!! :) sweet stuff!

i think from his message tonight, what really impressed me was his passion. it's just inspiring man, to see people so jacked up on God- so filled with passion for declaring Him wherever they go. i mean this dude was just going nuts - it was so amazing. i wanna be like that. i really do. just filled with so much passion for Jesus and bringing that wherever i go. i think i need to work on that - which basically i can't work on that, but it's something i gotta ask God for! :)

it's also justin's birthday today! too bad i can't go up to waterloo to like hang out with him. i really wish i could! stupid distance!!! i haven't been able to talk with him much lately since i haven't been online too much, but i do hope things are going well with him :)

that'll be it for tonight. i'm QUITE tired and i have a ton of things to do this weekend! g'nite!

Posted by Leo Chan at November 2, 2002 12:45 AM