one more down... 5 more to go!

November 27, 2002

school has basically come to end for me - today was the last design class of the term!

this term has definitely been a struggle. there were a lot of late nights, and almost sleepless nights because like i've said before - jamming 17 hrs in three days is not smart! although i only had 2 design classes, it still seemed like a lot of work - maybe it's just bunching everything up together *shrugs*

but yeah, type II was the class that really had me worried (and to be honest, i'm still very anxious about the last two projects that i've submitted) - i don't know how david will react to them. all i'm striving for is a B! that's the grade i always get- the best i can do are normally Bs! not that i have a problem with it - i like Bs. they are nice letters! *grin*

it's really a hard thing to deny yourself all the time - being in a program that you really don't want to be in. sometimes this desire of mine to switch is amplified more on some days than others. today is one of those days. design is such a silly thing - let's be honest! and it's not like i have the ability / skill / aptitude for it. so one of my fears, is that i won't actually graduate from the program - that i'll like flunk out this year or third year or whatever- just not making it. it's something on my mind. and it's hard to just trust God with it sometimes. i mean, i know He's placed me here - I know He's carried me through last year - but each year, it's just like a whole new ballgame. new teachers, new design problems, greater expectations for quality (which i don't believe i can provide). and it's only through Him though, that i can remain in this! and that is what i struggle with. but i am learning. and i think i will continue to learn this truth in the years to come!

Posted by Leo Chan at November 27, 2002 12:54 AM