design woes - part II

October 4, 2002

still have the same feelings about design. it's not going to change. i've been looking up some music programs (not really intensively, but a little bit here and there). so anyway, it doesn't seem like i'd qualify for most of them. why? cuz i don't know much about music. i used to take piano and what have you, but i never had a passion for it back then. i don't have 'formal' training in the instruments that i really enjoy: guitar & bass. so that doesn't really pan out too well! maybe i could get in some other way? haha. it happened once, it could happen again.

i think i could find a place where i could take more music stuff, but i dunno. i don't really want to look too much into it yet. because i really don't know what to do at this point. i'm not just going to switch programs so impulsively, though i really hate being in design. gotta seek God, seek His guidance. hopefully my lunch with tim will help me put things in perspective.

i've been in a daze today. all i want to do is go home. home to be with my Heavenly Father. what a glorious thought. i can just picture it.

i wish sometimes i could just fast-forward a few years, and at that point have stability. everything is all up in the air now. and now that i'm looking for a new church, that's also tentative. i have no 'home' anymore. no saftey zone. no comfort. and i need that. i seek it. i desire it.

in the meantime, i'm just trying to get all my assignments done. i have no clue what i'm going to do for my typgraphy assignment - my teacher RIPPED up my work on wednesday. he did that so he could re-arrange it, but geez. it wasn't nice at all. why is it that design professors are so emotionless? they don't spare your feelings at all. i don't think he likes me. like he was just hurling criticism at me left and right. i don't even know how to finish the project now. i have to redesign the face. and i probably won't do it right. *sigh* all this for what?

i simply don't see how my little snapshot fits in God's big mosaic. and sure maybe i don't need to see that yet, or maybe i shouldn't see it yet, but it's hard from the vantage point that i have now. i need more perspective. just a small glimpse would do!

Posted by Leo Chan at October 4, 2002 12:17 AM