the favour of God

October 5, 2003

i awoke this morning to find that i had no means of getting to church. my parents had driven my car last night and forgot to return the keys to me. i searched the house, scrambling to find my keys but to no avail. it was in vain. i was perplexed. why was i stuck at home? i don't believe there's such things as coincidences for a Christian. so my imagination ran wild, and i figured it was so i could open the house to potential buyers. i was so off!

i decided to sit down and listen to a 7:22 sermon, as my sunday sermon. i haven't had a chance to just sit and listen to 7:22 lately, and so here was my opportunity. i had already 'listened' (listened defined as me intensely concentrating on designing my font with it in the background) a few times before, and the ending story that david nasser used about beth moore really struck a chord deep within. but today, it was so different. i just sat and watched it. the Holy Spirit began to stir in my heart this morning and God really convicted me of things in my life. one being that i need to stop fixing my eyes on what i want, my own selfish desires (about buying a house), and focus it on God and on others. because despite all the things i think i've experienced, it's not about me at all. it's all about God. it always comes back to that. because it's from God that everything exists. it's from God that i exist.

i realized this morning that i've been pushing to purchase this "dream" house that i could live in when we move. and the more i've pushed for it, the more i've failed to realize our families' needs and financial situation. i've failed to see that my dad wants me to be happy, and the more i push for this ideal, the more he tries to make that ideal happen. but the fact of the matter is, is that my dad isn't getting any younger. in fact, he should be able to retire soon and not worry about debt or what have you. and by moving into this ideal home, he'd have to in fact work more to pay off the debt.

how self-centred am i? all i cared about was getting what i wanted, not thinking twice about anything else. maybe that's why we haven't sold our house. because i've been so caught up in myself that i've asked my mom to tell our real estate agent to look for houses that just aren't right for us. perhaps we've been looking in all the wrong places. i figure when we find the house that's right for us, that's the time when someone will make an offer on our house.

i also realized this morning, that the favour of God has the potential to be incredibly dangerous and have big 'consequences' from the world's point of view. and i've decided that despite all of that, i still want it. no matter what that entails, i am committed to the lordship of Christ as the authority of my life. because my life is not my own (jeremiah 10:23). because i was created for the glory of God. i want to live a life that is completely surrendered and submitted to God. i want to be a vessel by which He can act through and use to display His own glory and magnify Himself. that's my heart's prayer.

i don't want to be ordinary. Christ-followers should not be ordinary. think about it for a second. Jesus Christ lives INSIDE of us and we live in Him, and Christ lives inside of God. the Holy Spirit also DWELLS in us. it's like we're in this big God sandwich. we have the unlimited resources of God. we have unlimited strength in God. we have unlimited possibilities in God. how is that ordinary? it's not. not at all. we are called to be set apart. we are called to live in the world, but not be of it. our home is heaven. our lives should reflect that! our lives should draw people closer to the Son of God.

set me apart for the glory of Your name o God.
set me apart for the glory of Your fame.
that all might see and know Your wondrous beauty and grace.

Posted by Leo Chan at October 5, 2003 9:46 PM