a home at last!

September 27, 2002

this is really unrelated with my entry tonight, but i must say this. LOUIE GIGLIO, my HERO, mentioned tim in the latest 7:22 (september 24th). isn't that psycho!??? like, this is 7:22 we're talking about!! i couldn't believe it. i honestly like fell over. he told everyone about how tim was telling him that he got us guys to watch 7:22 to get our feeding instead of bailing on our churches. i didn't expect louie to actually mention tim! i knew he would probably say something about the worship together conference. but yeah.. WOW!

anyhow, today was part II in my fellowship experience with CCC. God is totally just blowing my expectations out of the water. i went today, not really expecting anything. just kinda thinking, "is this where you want me to be?". and so i quietly walked in, and sat down in one of the seats near the front. i saw raine, one of the girls that i've met before, but she was talking to someone so i just sat down. and so this guy named ryan sat beside me and starts talking to me. he's a worker for campus crusade (so maybe that accounts for it, but whatever, it doesn't matter). and yeah, he starts asking me some general questions but it was cool. we got to talking about a whole bunch of different things! and i'm just sitting there thinking, wow this like never happens. no one ever talks to me at CCC. but this year, it's different. not COMPLETELY different, but it's different. i still feel a bit strange there since i don't really know anyone, but yeah. that'll change. cuz i'm going there from now on.

and what was also really cool was that ryan was telling me about their men's Bible study groups. and to be honest, i did want to join but i never told them my schedule or anything so i figured it wouldn't work out. and lo and behold, one of their groups actually works! what are the odds. i'm only at york twice a week! so i'm definitely gonna join up with the Bible study and i'm really hoping that it'll be a good thing. i'm sure it will be :)

a part of me wonders if maybe God let me feel so awkward, strange and alienated last year at CCC so i could understand how people might feel sometimes there. i still feel like there could be definite room for improvements in that area, and i will definitely make a voice of that issue later on when i'm more connected with everyone there. i saw a guy that i met two weeks ago at the BBQ. his name's alex. and i noticed that he was sitting alone. i was also sitting alone for a while too, like i said. so i sat there, wondering if i should like go up and say something to the guy. and i was going to but i was stupid so i stalled. and then the ryan dude had a seat beside me and started the whole conversation thing. and after that worship started. so i figured i'd sit beside ryan after worship happened or whatever. but then he left. and i felt really bad. it was like i missed an opportunity or something. dumb me. i gotta be more like "reactive" to those instances i think. like no delays. so that was totally my bad. i really hope that guy comes back. i'll go chat it up with him next time. well i'll try to! :)

tonight, they had a topic on "living by the Spirit". so it was more like a message/sermon type thing. it was pretty good, i think God's trying to humble me with taking me back to basics, and reminding me of things i need to work on, things that i believe He wants to change in my life. one of the phrases that the speaker (melissa, another worker for campus crusade) said that i remember is something like this: "we act on what we strongly desire the most" - so if God is who we desire the most, then the way we live our live should follow suit. we should be desiring the things of God and nothing else. i think i haven't been living by the Spirit daily. little fits of rage or whatever have been springing up in me every now and then. i'll get annoyed easily. or drivers will get on my nerves. or stuff like that. i HAVE to remember that i can't do anything on my own. i can't. what can i do without Christ? absolutely nothing! i pray that God will always be the One i desire most, so that i won't gratify the desires of the sinful nature, but gratify life by the Spirit. that's what it's all about! :)

that'll be it from me tonight. i hope to get to know the CCC people much better in the time to come. and i hope that God'll continue to help me develop and meet those people as time goes on :)

praise God. He's the only one deserving of it! g'nite :)

Posted by Leo Chan at September 27, 2002 12:44 AM