bidding farewell

September 29, 2002

today was the last time i'll be stepping into the doors of MCBC for a while. perhaps indefinitely. i had to lead worship one more time before my committment at markham finally came to a close, and that was today. evangelical sunday. i spent a lot of time thinking about the set, trying to craft what i believed would be the best for the atmosphere, etc. was it successful? i have no clue.

worship leading always gives me a lot of 'stress' because i try to create a certain theme in my set and i try to cater that to the needs of the congregation. this one in particular was a lot more difficult since it was evangelical. but through my experiences as a worship leader, God always humbles me and shows me how much i need to desire Him and listen to what He intends. not that i ever think i know what i'm doing, because i really have no clue. all i can do is try my best and do my best for Him. :) worship leading though, is an extremely huge blessing to me. i love watching people engage in worshipping the Father in music, and to see their expressions as they pour out their love to Him. it's awesome!

yesterday, during one of the soundchecks for the BBT revolution, i was filling in tim's spot. so i was singing, playing the guitar with a FULL band. i've never led worship with a full band, and i think a part of me REALLY, REALLY desires that! actually i know a part of my really desires that. i'd love to be able to lead a worship band. but i guess it's not the time for me yet. i think the coolest "job" in the world is to be a worship leader. that's so cool! it is by far the coolest thing ever. i mean, you get to lead worship at all these neat places around the world!!

i always seem to go off on these little tangents. so as i was saying, today was my last day at markham. and to be honest, leaving was a lot "easier" than i had thought. it wasn't difficult or anything. and it wasn't like anyone was sad to see me go either. it's like i've already lost all my attachment to the church within a few weeks, perhaps ever since i've made my announcement. though i wanted to let people know that i wouldn't be back for a while, but it didn't happen. the ones that i wanted to tell, a) were too busy for me to get a hold of or b) didn't have much of a noticeable response to what i had said. maybe they've already gotten used to the fact that i won't be back. so what's in store? i have no idea. next week i'll venture off into the world of bayview glen. i wonder what it'll be like. all i know is that justin really enjoyed it there, so i would assume that i'll enjoy it too! i don't want to expect too much, so that i don't get my hopes let down or whatever if it's not what i expect. but yeah, i need to still seek God in this whole church switching business.

i've been struggling w/ some design work lately. i'm so not cut out for this. if God doesn't help me with design work, i won't be able to do anything. like seriously. i'm not good at it! but He's helped me come up with some typographical approaches for one of my projects and i really hope it'll be successful with my teacher. perhaps throughout all of this, God is just reminding me that i need to solely depend on Him for everything! :) and isn't that the greatest truth? "i can't. but He can" :) amen!

Posted by Leo Chan at September 29, 2002 11:51 PM