... in utter awe (a response to the passion of the Christ)

February 29, 2004

while a completely wordless entry would describe exactly my response to "the passion of the Christ", it wouldn't document that state of mind in a tangible way. i am stunned, in utter awe, in complete and total shock. when the movie ended, i just sat there. dumbfounded. i would have continued to sat there, but the credits were over and it was time to get out of the theatre so the employees could clean up the place. i have not said anything at all to my parents in the car on the drove home or since we've been at the house. because, frankly, i can't say anything. i don't know what to say.

i've always known that Christ's death was gruesome. it's one of those things you learn about when you grow in the church as a kid. and it's one of those things you take for granted the easiest. but knowing something and actually really thinking about it, imagining it, feeling it, is a completely different story. that's what happened for me tonight. the first time i've really come to grips with the magnitude, the depth, the richness, the unfathomable love of God in the life of Jesus Christ through the Cross for all of mankind, and more specifically me. the only other time i've really begun to wrap around what the Cross really entailed was during my mission trip in mexico with YWAM. they put on a drama of the crucifixation, and at the time, it was the most realistic depiction of it i've ever encountered. but that pales in comparison to this movie. and while i am at a loss for words in response to the movie, i'm sure all the things i saw, felt, heard on screen tonight would be heightened that much more if i were actually there, some 2000 years ago when it all happened.

i've heard a lot of things about this movie before seeing it tonight, and to be honest, i was somewhat scared to see it because i was afraid of the things i might see. and the reality was, it was really hard to watch. not because it was about a man who was tortured by the worst means possible (which makes it in itself very hard to watch - who would want to watch something like that?), but because the reason why that man was tortured was because of me, because of you, because of us, out of the love God had for us. mary was one of the central focuses in the entire movie, and it shows the range of emotions she felt for her son, especially the grief, the pain, the desire for her to do whatever she could to stop her son from suffering. and i imagine how much more that would have been for God, to sent HIS only Son to die for the world in the worst death imaginable even though He is God....

it's insane to think that the Son of God allowed Himself to be publically humiliated, spit upon, mocked, beat up, and insulted without any kind of retilation when He could have, at any time, proven that He was God in the blink of an eye. why suffer through all that? why bear all of that? if i were in His shoes, i more than likely would have proven all my abilities. but He didn't. He didn't even complain ONCE. it was all out of His love for us and out of pure humility. it's unbelievable. it's crazy. it's preposterous. it's unfathomable that this huge, omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient God, the creator of the ENTIRE universe would do something like that! it's totally off the wall.

this movie has really brought new life to what "taking up the cross" entails... and to the words that paul wrote in philippians 3:10 "i want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death"

so what's my response? i need to stop being so fickle about the things in life, and get my perspective off of me and my feelings and emotions and unto Him for who am i in comparison to such an Almighty God?. i need to cherish Jesus Christ and the Cross much more than i do now. i need to be willing to sacrifice my life for Him, to completely surrender myself to Him in all things, at all times. i need to love Him, the way He loved me, with wreckless and total abandon.

my desire is simple this: the reality of the Cross would create in me a greater desire, thirst and passion for my loving Saviour that would manifest in all my words, thoughts and actions for the purpose of magnifying the glory of God and His greatness to all nations.

"but He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed. we all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed and afflicted, yet He did not open his mouth; He was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so He did not open His mouth." (isaiah 53:5-7 [NIV])

Posted by Leo Chan at February 29, 2004 11:08 PM