suffering for the glory of God

September 8, 2004

when bad things happen, our natural tendency is to ask the question, "why me?" we wonder why the circumstance had to affect our life, and so other questions follow, "why now?" or "why this?" or even "why not someone else?" we may even think that God is not a loving God, that He's stopped caring for us, that perhaps He's punishing us, and a myriad of other things about Him, or question why God would "allow bad things to happen to good people" (us being the 'good people'). in other words, the big question, is "why?" and i would like to suggest the answer to be this, "why not?"

our lives should be all about Him and not about us. we talk about living our lives for God, we talk about doing everything Him and not for us, but a lot of it is just that, talk. when push comes to shove, if we're really honest, more often than not, our lives are really about us. think about how you pray for example. a lot of us often and perhaps solely pray for ourselves. we pray for God to meet our needs, to lead and guide us, to speak to us, to do this and that, for US. do you see a common trend here? our prayers are about US, and not Him.

this kind of all about me mentality trickles down to our attitudes, to the way we react to circumstances, and to the way we interact with people. a lot of times, when things don't go our way, we get upset, we grumble, we complain. it becomes all about us and the things that aren't meeting our expectations, our 'needs', our schedule. and so when bad things happen, when suffering happens, a lot of the time it becomes about us. why shouldn't it after all? it's happening to us! it's all about me, me, me. deliver me from my situation. pray for me. answer me. i'm not saying that it's bad to have these responses either, we need to be honest with God about how we're feeling, BUT if we're people living for the glory of God, everything should all about Him.

but i do i know what it's like to think these things, to ask these questions, time and time again. i've been there many times this past year. i know what it's like to hit rock bottom, over and over again, wondering why God allowed me to go through so much, wondering why God would think i could get through it, wondering why did it had to be my brother, wondering why i'd have to deal with RSI after i had been and still was through such a tough storm (as if i hadn't been low enough), wondering basically, why me. and sometimes, why not someone else? why coudln't He choose someone else for all of this?

one night in june, while sitting on the bench in the park beside my house, i was having a chat with God. i was thinking about how huge God was and i was thinking about how long i had been afflicted with RSI. i realized something. i realized that a lot of the prayers i offered to God where about me. i had been asking for months on end for Him to heal me, for Him to do in a miracle in me for His glory (what a prayer, huh?), etc., etc., etc. and so, i confessed that to God. and i asked Him if it (the circumstance i was in with RSI in both hands) could somehow be all about Him.

His answer to me was simple. He chose me to suffer for His glorification. i had to think about that for a second (and i'm still thinking about it now). God, this huge, infinite, omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient, God chose me (a person who is nothing but a speck of dust in comparison) to suffer for His glorification. it blew my mind. thinking that infinite God, who created the entire universe, would select me for His glorification through suffering. it was an honour, a privilege, not something i should be complaining about or asking God to remove from me and/or give it to someone else. i had the chance to be part of God's glorification of Himself! wow. it was so huge.

God's highest concern is Himself and His glorification, and to be a part of that, to be selected for it, to be hand chosen for it, that blows me away. it really does. Christ endured suffering for the joy set before Him (hebrews 12:2). He knew that His suffering would ultimately result in the glorifcation of God. if we want to be like Christ, we need to embrace this understanding.

present day, i've been diagnosed with fibromyalgia (FM) syndrome (last wednesday). the specialist said i didn't have RSI as i had previously thought. since FM is not a disease, it's not easy to diagnose. you have to figure out what it's not, before what it is. FM is a chronic condition that affects the entire body, with a long list of symptoms. it's not curable, but it is treatable. and while it came to me as quite a shock, i've been thankful that God's been showing me so much about the kind of balanced life i need to live since having FM (when i thought it was RSI). i realized that i swang way too much weight towards school, none towards my physical health, and very little towards other things. i also would have missed out on learning such amazing lessons on servanthood from my teammates had i not had FM. and now going back to school, i believe there's a lot of opportunities to share with my classmates. i have to wear two forearm braces, a shoulder of 8 brace, as well as take some medication for FM. the forearm braces are conversation starters! and so i'm praying that God'll use this for His glorification, that He would use what i've been through for Him.

today, i was diagnosed with two forms of the herpes virus. i have a ton of cold sores in my mouth (several on my inner lips, under my tongue and the botom of my mouth) and a pretty severe rash on both sides of my neck (known as shingles, or chicken pox 2) that causes pain when i move my neck. there's more to shingles, but that's what has manifested at this point.

i would be lying if i said it wasn't difficult to hear the news about being diagnosed with FM and then later being diagnosed with this herpes virus. sometimes i feel like job #2. i feel like the devil is trying to break my spirits, trying to throw whatever he's got in his arsenal at me and that God is allowing him to do it. i know God is refining me, deepening my faith in Him through all these trials this past year, but it's still not easy. i'm at a point in my life where i know God is in control of every single thing and He knows what's best. i honestly believe that with every fibre of my being, and that all i need to do is believe Him for who He is and trust Him with everything. though i know now what Jesus was saying when He said the spirit is willing, but the body is weak (matt. 26:41). apparently FM and the herpes virus can arise out of stress, and considering what my family's been through this past year, i wouldn't be surprised if that's been a big contributing factor.

but, through all the physical pain that i've been experiencing, i've learned that it's not about me. it's never been supposed to be about me. this life i have isn't mine anyway. in the words of jeremiah, "i know, O LORD , that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps." (jeremiah 10:23 [NIV]) God has entrusted us with the lives He's given us. our lives are for Him. it's all for Him. it's all about Him. and that's how we need to live and move. all of us for all of Him, for His glorification in all things.

remember, suffering is a privilege, an honour, something that refines the very nature of who we are to become more like Christ and to glorify God. amen!

"dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. but rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed." - 1 peter 4:12-13

Posted by Leo Chan at September 8, 2004 10:00 PM