encouraging words

March 30, 2005

early on in march, our class had a discussion about the invites that were going to be sent out about our graduation show, presented by the two heads of the print committee. that discussion got ugly fast. i'll admit that what was presented, was not the best looking work i've ever seen. but it was the result of a lot of decisions made by people who had more authority than the print committee. that being said, people who weren't aware of all the behind the scenes decisions decided to voice their opinions in class. and they were very vocal about them too, to a point where it became like an attack on the two print committee heads. that's what happens when you move in ignorance—you speak on what you see, not on the big picture. one of those two heads, is a friend of mine. i could tell by watching her that she wasn't faring so well during the whole thing. i don't think anyone could. they were being publicly humiliated in front of the entire class, and all they could do, was take it.

i was appalled at what had happened. as a class, i always felt that we were in this thing together, at least most of us anyways. i couldn't believe at how insensitive some of the people were. finally, when it was all over—when the dust had settled and all the arrows had been shot, i went up to my friend to see how she was doing. she sort of shrugged it off and said she was alright. i didn't believe her, not for a second. on the way home, i was reflecting on what had happened. and then this thought came across my mind: i should write the two print heads an e-mail of encouragement! i started thinking about that, wondering how often non-Christians hear encouragement? i mean, yeah, you might get a pat on the back for a job well done or get a high five for a successful project, but i wonder how deep comments like that run?

i've always looked to encouragement as something deep, something heart felt, something that requires thought. it doesn't have to be a lot of words, but it has to be genuine. i feel like most of the time we simply say nice things about people's performance/accomplishment because it's proper etiquette. even as Christians, we're far too polite with one another, saying "you did great" when really we didn't think that at all. that's not encouragement. it's deception.

in any case, when i got home, i fired off an e-mail to the both of them, saying how much i appreciated their hard work and what a great job they were doing as leaders. and yes, i DID mean what i wrote. within the next few days, both of them wrote back to me and expressed just how much they appreciate the support and encouragement. it meant a lot to both of them after a day like that. that's another part of encouragement. it is also received by the heart.

the whole ordeal got me thinking about the words we choose to say to one another and even to ourselves. in any given day, how many negative words come out of your mouth? how many encouraging ones? if we're honest, i think the total number of negative words beats out the encouraging ones. how often do you hear words like "loser, failure, stupid, idiot, moron, reject" from people? from your friends? and while they may be said and received jokingly, i can't help but think about the possible damage they can still inflict on us. what if one of the words was salient to you. what if the word loser, for example, had been said over you as a child from your parents. that word would conjure negative emotions and thoughts, and perhaps even inflict more harm on your low self-esteem. WHY joke about words that have potentially damaging consequences? we have no idea the kind of hurt and pain that exists in some people, and if we carelessly choose to use words such as these, we could be adding more fuel to their fire. let's also not forget about our own selves too. if we constantly put ourselves down, or say negative things to ourselves, those words will eventually sink into our hearts, and we will start believing them.

instead, why not use words that build and edify each other? why not encourage one another and spur one other towards good deeds (hebrews 10:24)? why not heed the words of ephesians 4:29 [NIV], "do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." as the body of Christ, we get enough discouragement from the world. we don't need our fellow brothers and sisters adding more to that. let's choose to be conscious of the words we say to each other.

two weeks after that incident, i was on the qew driving to sheridan, when i heard something hit my car. it was loud. something had hit my windshield—the impact was hard enough to leave a small crack. just like that. in the blink of an eye. whatever hit my car was small, but it came at such a force to leave permanent damage. i couldn't help but think of how the exact same thing happens when we carelessly use words to others and to ourselves. one small word, can have enough force to leave permanent damage in the hearts of others and ourselves. that's the nature of negative words. they have the potential to inflict pain and harm. encouraging words, on the other hand, have the potential to uplift and touch the heart. the choice is yours.

Posted by Leo Chan at March 30, 2005 8:26 PM