award mania (part II)
October 2, 2005
here's another perspective to my thoughts on all these awards.
i'm currently reading "a work of heart" by reggie mcneal for my leadership class. today, i stumbled across a passage that really struck me, "God exults in our accomplishments. He wants us to enjoy them as well. emotionally healthy leaders know how to savor the moment and truly rejoice. when the leader does celebrate some milestone or achievement, it affords a marvelous opportunity to see the work of God in the leader's life" (p. 180).
as i reflected on my life, i wondered if i really knew how to "savor the moment and truly rejoice" as reggie describes. did i even celebrate achievements to begin with? did i enjoy them? i thought back to the days when i first stepped into design. it was shaky ground. it was shaky for a long time. it was only late into my second year that i started having confidence in myself. my grades shot up. i was getting As & A+s in a lot of my courses. but for some reason, it felt like those grades had nothing to do with me. it felt like it was the biggest trickery of the century, that somehow the wool was pulled over all of my profs' eyes. i never celebrated the fact that God had been honoring my pursuit of excellence in my studies. i didn't see those grades as a reflection of that. i guess i never expected any type of acknowledgment. seems pretty silly to me now.
if we don't hear what God is trying to say/teach us the first time, He will continue to say/teach us until we get it. God will only move according to our own obedience to Him. if He tests us on something, He will not move until we've passed that test. it's fine for God—He's got all the time in the world to wait—we don't.
i firmly believe that i did not get it for the longest time. maybe i still don't. maybe the point of all these recognitions and awards is because i keep failing to see what God is trying to teach me and He's trying to get my attention. perhaps these recognitions are a way of God showing me that my university studies was a job well done, that my pursuit of excellence for His name was honouring to Him. God honours those who honour Him.
i find it incredible that a person like myself, who lacked so much confidence, skills, and knowledge heading into the design program, could emerge out of it with recognition from design industry professionals around the globe on multiple occasions. when i entered my program, i was a guy with NO art background whatsoever (no art history knowledge and no art skills) and heading into a design field where these skills and knowledge would be very helpful. i had no idea what i was doing in first year. i prayed over everything i did, because i knew i needed God to step in and give me grace. i remember some projects that i had to do where computer use was not allowed. those were big time struggles for me because i did not develop my motor skills in terms of painting, drawing, etc. upon graduating, i still didn't have much art history knowledge and did not have any art skills, but the struggles lessened and i started believing that i was competent in what i did. my last year, in fact, went by a lot easier (i'm not talking about workload here, because it was insane). i no longer felt inadequate. i was confident that i could finish projects and finish them well.
that's a pretty significant change. that is definitely the work of God (though i'm not advocating that i had no part in that either. i believe my desire to pursue excellence for His name in design is directly correlated to this outcome). that is definitely something to be celebrated.
perhaps this is what it all comes down to: God has been trying to get me to celebrate these achievements in order that i might reflect on the amazing work He's done in and through me these past four years, that i could have confidence in my ability as a designer, and more importantly, in myself, and that i could know that my efforts to live out colossians 3:17 & 3:23 in my studies were well received and were honoured by God.
Posted by Leo Chan at October 2, 2005 12:22 AM
