staying on course

October 28, 2005

how do you know if you're walking in a straight line? how do you know if you're driving in the right direction? how do you know if you're running in your lane? you probably need some kind of external markings to figure it out. walkers tend to use external references to walk in a straight line. drivers need road signs to guide their way. runners need the white lines on the track that mark their lane.

i was swimming the other day. i like swimming in the portion of the pool that isn't restricted by the floating lane markers. while i love the freedom of that area of the pool, one difficulty lies in the fact that there's no way of telling whether or not you're swimming in a straight line, especially when you're doing some kind of back stroke. that area of the pool basically has two lanes. i tend to swim in the lane closest to the pool wall for one reason only. on the ceiling, there are two distinct markers on the opposite ends of the pool. they serve as a frame of reference for me to let me know i'm going in a straight line, in the right direction. without them, it's much more difficult.

not every needs external markings to determine if they are walking in a straight line. we each have an internal sense of directionality, some stronger than others. these people do not need/rely on external markings. they have an internal compass built in.

i believe whole-heartedly that God has plans for every person on planet earth. He formed each of us with a specific purpose, ultimately that we may glorify Him. God has a path laid for each of us, but it's up to us if we want to walk that path. God gave each of us the power of choice. we have the capability to decide what we want to do and what we do not want to do. no one has the right in our life but us. i wonder how many of us rather rely on our internal sense of directionality rather than external markings in life. i wonder how many of us rather rely on self than on someone else. i know i would.

western culture weaves this notion into the fabric of our being. rely on self. depend on no one but yourself. achieve your dreams. make something of yourself. do it on your own. needing others is a sign of weakness. how much of this is rooted in our subconscious? how much of this affects our thoughts and actions without us even realizing it?

i realize more and more how hard it is for me to ask others for help. even in my weaken condition with fibromyalgia, i still seek to do things independently. i'll try and try until i realize i can't do something. it's only then that i'll ask for help. once i realize this, i'll ask for help again. i don't like it, but i have no other choice. it's easier to serve others than to be served, isn't it?

let me ask you something. how do you know if the life you are living is the right life? how do you know that what you're doing will be meaningful, worthwhile in the future? is your answer based from the self or from a God-shaping event?

here's an irony. a lot of people rather be lead than lead themselves, but culture tells us that we should lead ourselves. not knowing any other alternative, we're forced to buy into that notion and lead ourselves. it's also ironic that we unconsciously rely externally on a lot more things than we realize. the driver and the runner examples are but a small sample of that. so why do we have so much trouble doing the same in the course of our lives?

there is nothing weak about needing God to lead our lives. i see it as a source of strength. i see it as life-giving. i see it as motivation. i see it as freedom. and really, i just prefer it. while i have a strong internal sense of directionality, i still prefer the external. like the pool, i like having external markings pointing to the fact that i'm going in the right direction. it means that i don't have to worry about it. i don't need to figure everything out on my own. all i need to do is look up and i'll know whether or not what i'm doing is on course.

that's how simple it is. take the eyes off self and look up. seek the external—ask God. only the Creator knows what the created is for. there's no chance that something created knows what it's purpose is unless it asks the One who created it. it can spend its entire existence trying to be things and do things that it was never meant to be. it will look at other created things and compare itself. it will see the strengths and positive qualities of others and wonder why it couldn't be like that too. it will fail to realize its own uniqueness. it will end up frustrated and dejected. sadly, that's how it is for so many people on planet earth. something truly majestic happens when the created thing becomes and does what it was created to do. that's the life that awaits all of us.

"don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. instead, fix your attention on God. you'll be changed from the inside out. readily recognize what He wants from you, and quickly respond to it" - romans 12:2 [the message]

Posted by Leo Chan at October 28, 2005 9:48 AM