speechless :)

December 29, 2002

i cannot describe in mere words how amazed and in awe of God i am. it's three days into the conference now and much has taken place. i still haven't had the opportunity to meet the CCC people much, though now they are more familiar that i exist and vice versa. perhaps in the next two days that'll change :)

i've been trying to keep an open and positive attitude while i've been here, and it's been hard. i haven't found the main speaker to be all that challenging to be completely honest. there's this one guy, gregg, who's the national director of crusades in atlanta, georgia (there's something about preachers from atlanta! ahem.. louie) who's a pretty cool guy.. i really enjoy how he speaks and the things that he's been talking about :)

today we had our day of outreach. basically it was just a time to hit the streets of toronto and share the Gospel with people. i'm no joe evangelist so i was worrying about what would happen, would i would do. before we went out, gregg spoke to us and the line that i remember from it was this: as we multiply, God is glorified. it was really challenging and motivating before we left to hit the streets. and we also went through the 4 Spiritual laws too. it was a good reminder for me since i have no idea what i'm doing :)

anyway, i got placed in a group with a bunch of caucasian girls that i didn't know. there was one asian guy, but he didn't come with us (i have no idea why - maybe he came to the wrong group initially). we ended up going to erin mills town centre (good ol sauga!) and i got paired up with a girl named jillian. a 4th year physiotherapy student at dalhousie (halifax). we talked briefly before we began and prayed with one another.

and then it began! we had about 3 hours to spend in the mall sharing with people. we were given a Christmas survey to use to transition to the four spiritual laws. it was a pretty effective tool to get people into the booklet. VERY effective. i think it'd be cool to make something like that for a general purpose use :)

the first guy we met was named shane and he was totally open to and wililng to hear what we had to say. jillian was talking and i just sat beside her praying for her. she got up to the end of the booklet and to the prayer but he wasn't ready to commit at that time and his parents had arrived, so he left. but that was really encouraging for us. just how open he was and everything :) it was really cool!! and so with that we kept at it. we met a few Christians and some other non-Christians. basically EVERYONE was open to hearing what we had to say. and we basically gave out all most of our four spiritual laws booklet.

after a while, we started getting discouraged because the way we split up the mall, there wasn't a lot of space to walk around and so we didn't really find a lot of people just sitting around that we could approach. we finally spotted a teen listening to music and we approached him. it was the coolest thing in the world. he was a grade 12 student from winnipeg, mainitoba by the name of matthew. and we went through the entire booklet with him! and at the END, he was like yeah, i want to accept Christ. i think i died right there! but he was kind of like yeah, sure why not. and at that point i was like "uhhh" (in my head of course) - jillian picked up on it and went through it again, making sure he understood FULLY what he was doing. after we prayed with him, his mom came, but unlike most parents she let him talk with us some more so she left. we basically gave him everything we had, a Bible, a satisfied? booklet, the 4 spiritual laws booklet and our contact information.

the coolest part of all of this, is that we really didn't do anything at all. we had to do was be available for God and He did all the work - we opened our mouths, He filled them with His words. we opened our minds, He filled them with wisdom. isn't it awesome that God would choose even the most unsuitable people (ie. me) to do His work? that's amazing. that we are able to be a part of furthering God's Kingdom!! WE are able to be a part of furthering God's Kingdom!! that's crazy man. :)

after all of this, jillian and i were just completely in awe. this was the first time in my life that i've ever been a part of leading someone to Christ (of course i didn't do anything, it was all Jesus). but i'm just so thankful that God's allowed me to part of this today. praise Him, for He is holy :)

with such positive experiences today, i have a definite urge to do some outreach at york. i think it'd be awesome to like just start witnessing to people there. i mean, that's why i'm there right? to spread the love of Jesus. it's not that piece of paper. i don't even want it. so i'm thinking that i can get some of the CCC people to join me to do it. i mean, they DO it anyways! so i can probably just join them and do that. :) it'd be such an amazing thing if God just swept york with His love, His presence :) if the campus of york began turning to Christ, what a wonderful sight that would be.

i'm hoping that our small group in design can start living sold out lives for Jesus and affect the lives of the students around us. :) if we could start doing things in our program for the other students, that would be really cool. or just somehow get on the conversation about Jesus. if somehow everyone in the program could hear of Jesus by the time we graduate, i think that would be the coolest thing. maybe now it's time to think of how we can go about and make that happen :)

two more days left here. we'll see what God has in store for me :)

a return to the asian culture?

December 27, 2002

i've began to wonder if the reaction i've been receiving in terms of my church and fellowship attendance has in some way turned me back to the asian community. after urbana, i had a strong urge to leave the asian circle and venture out into the "real" church - the multi-cultural church because it represented God's universal church. and so in my first year of university, i did just that - i tried CCC because of it's multi-cultural nature. and this year, when i was able to do my own church hunting, i went to a multi-cultural church.

needless to say, it's been an interesting experience to see other cultures, but i've begun to feel like God's calling me back to my culture. my roots. though i don't have a strong sense of asian identity, God's created me to be an asian person. i just feel like i don't really "fit in" with any other people groups - maybe it's just me, but it seems like i get along with asian people that much more easily. would i ever find a home in a non-asian church? possible, but at this time i think it's time for me to return back to them. and ths could apply to my fellowship attendance. i don't know if CCF is the answer, but maybe my small group in the design program could work out really well. i need to be praying about that a whole lot more :)

i still don't have a lot of expectations being at this conference. in fact, i'm waiting for it to end. that's not the best attitude i could hold, and i'm trying to change it, but it's hard. real hard. i've met a few people so far, but they aren't from CCC. i wonder why i'm here. what God has in store for me this week. i've also taken notice that the CCC people are trying to talk to me more. i think. maybe they've noticed that i feel left out all the time, or maybe they are just aware that they've never really talked to me. i've only noticed this in a few people, but i guess i'll find out in the days to come.

i read the book of ruth this morning for my devotion. the overall theme in my opinion? small picture world, big picture God. things in life don't always make sense. they shouldn't we aren't God. but He knows what's best and that's all that matters :) so even with my church and fellowship experiences and my struggles with it - i know that God has something greater with it in store, something with more meaning than i can see. and maybe, just maybe, it's to call me back to my heritage, my culture, my background - being asian. :)

thinking about Christmas...

December 26, 2002

have you ever really wondered about the whole concept of Christmas? i mean, really sat down and thought about what the meaning of Christmas has come to? Christmas is SUPPOSED to be about Jesus. it's supposed to be a celebration of the birth of Christ, an unfathomable gift of love to the world. and you'd think that Christians would realize that during the Christmas season. maybe they do, maybe for a brief fleeting moment there's a recollection of the birth of Christ, the birth of baby Jesus in a manager. and soon after that thought has disappeared, the commercialism and materialism begins.

i think the biggest deal about Christmas nowadays is the shopping. for Christians and non-Christians alike. it's like, what am i going to buy for this person, that person, etc.? people count down the remaining shopping days until Christmas, and the later you shop, the crazier malls, and retail stores become. at some point, people always ask you, if you've finished your Christmas shopping or not.

who CARES? is Christmas about buying presents that only elevate the greed/materialism of those around you? of course not. you don't buy gifts to elevate greed or materialism, but that's one of the effects of giving gifts. people ask you what you want for Christmas. even if you don't want anything, you may start to wonder, flip through some catalogs, browse a few websites to see what you MIGHT want. that way, you can give the person that asked you what you want. and maybe on Christmas day, you'll open a wrapped box to find it was what you wanted! stores slash prices in hopes to get people to purchase more. sales soar during the Christmas season.

Christmas has turned into a commercial holiday. maybe that's okay in the secular world. but for Christians, it should be totally different. shouldn't it? wouldn't it be cool if instead of giving people ridiculously expensive presents, the money was spent on a more useful and worthy cause? like buying sleeping bags for the homeless, or giving it to a charity or to someone really in need? and for the people that you want to give something to, do something else like write them a nice card, or take them out for a meal or something. if every Christmas, all Christians would use their money on worthwhile causes, and NOT on gifts, think about all the things that could happen. the potential is simply incredible.

so what's my theory? stop buying gifts for people. and stop accepting gifts from people. instead, tell the gift givers to use the money and donate it to a charity or something. and instead of buying people gifts, you take that money and do the same. is that tight, not to give presents to the people you love? i don't think so. presents doesn't necessarily mean you spend $100 bucks on a shirt for them. it could be doing something for them. who knows. let's stretch our creativity a bit here :)

if we are to live lives for Christ, they are different from the rest of the world. set apart for Him :) instead of letting secular society influence the way we understand and approach Christmas, it should be the opposite. after all, the whole idea of Christmas CAME from Christianity! :) it was all about Jesus back then. and that's how it should remain today. it's all about Jesus. it always was, and it should always be about Him :)

"you're the YourChristianHome.com guy!!"

December 25, 2002

i had a decent chat with tim on the 20th... telling him about what's been happening in my life over the past little while.. my struggles with CCC and finding a church for myself...

he told me something that i have never considered before... something that never crossed my mind.. i've realized that i hate being "leo chan" for the reason that i own YourChristianHome.com... everywhere i go, if i introduce myself.. as leo... sometimes, people will follow up with a question... "leo chan?" and i will say yes.. and THEN it happens... "you're the YourChristianHome.com guy!!!" and then other comments follow... what do you say to that? i don't think it's such a big deal.. it's just a website.. it's not a big issue!! it really isn't..... i hate it when people do that.. it makes me feel VERY uncomfortable.... and i don't know what to say.. just a thanks... is all i know.... it's JUST a website!!!!

but tim was saying that because i'm regarded as that sometimes, that people may figure that i have it all together.. that i don't need to be talked to.. that i'm fine on my own.. not needing anything or anyone.. like how people regards pastors.. not to say i'm in the same regards as a pastor.. but people regard pastors as the "untouchable".. as those that have it all together... but they don't..... and neither do i... in fact, i'm probably the one that has it least together.. the one that really needs the most help...

the CCC people know i'm the YourChristianHome.com guy.. well some of them do anyway.. so maybe that's why there's a lack of talking to me? maybe.. that's one potential explanation but i don't find that completely justifies it...*sigh* it feels like i'm condemened to a life of feeling left out... outside... i really miss koinonia.. those good ol high school days when things just worked.. and i had a chuch family... now it's just me... alone... i know Jesus is with me, but it's hard to make it without fellowship.. it really is... i don't have a family, a home anymore.. no more stability.. no more roots anywhere...

tim told me to just stop going to CCC... after all, it just gets me upset everytime i go.... a part of me just wants to give up... but following God was and never will be easy... the strife and pain and toil that some of God's followers had to endure were much longer and much more painful that what i'm experiencing... so maybe it's something God wants me to learn from it? or maybe i just shouldn't be there anymore.... if the conference with the CCC people doesn't do anything with my relationships with them.. i'm going to quit going... i'd much rather spend that time volunteering in the CITY than going to a fellowship that just gets me upset all the time...

"there's something positive about you..."

i've been really procrastinating with journaling lately! it's been quite the while.. but in any case, i'll just continue from where i left off. :)

on the 9th, i went to the Christmas party of campus crusades. i didn't really want to go, but i've been forcing myself to go to their social outings in an attempt to get to know them. i didn't have much expectations, i was sorta hoping i'd be able to get to know some of them. but that didn't work out as i had hoped. i got there and saw brett, but he was busy with stuff so i just kinda hung around by myself (anyone see a trend here?) eventually a few people that i knew showed up, like constentiene (can't spell his name) and lepagne (can't spell that either)... so i was talking to with them, catching up because i hadn't seen them in a while... i think those two are basically the only two people that i can really talk with.. everyone else.. is...... distant... away from me or something.. i can't put my finger on it..

i felt like people were either avoiding me or just didn't want to sit with us.. i figured i'd be eating alone but constentiene asked to sit with me.. so i'm like sure.. no one else joined our table until way later cuz it was the only one available.. after dinner, we played some really lame games... VERY lame.. like TC games.. hello! and while most people were enjoying themselves, having a merrry time... i just felt more alone.. watching them enjoy themselves with such silliness... that only happens when you feel like a PART of the fellowship.. when you're at home... if you aren't.. you feel like an outsider.. and that's how i felt...

at the end of the night, i left without anyone noticing... i'm able to make these quick departures because i don't think anyone actually cares if i'm there or not.. it makes no difference to them.. and so i left with thinking that maybe there was something wrong with me. maybe i was unapproachable.. that i was unfriendly.. that there was something about me that pushed them away... and so i sulked at home wondering why i couldn't fit in, when a few people that joined the fellowship the same time as me fit in so well..

the next day i began my Christmas volunteering at the salvation army.. it was short lived, only a span of two days because i later discovered i had mononucleosis (and no, i didn't get it from kissing anyone.. the way i got it is still a mystery to me..) but God used those two days to encourage me from that monday night.. i met two people, a guy named waldo (he was an older person, probably in his 40/50s) and a guy named yung (a korean guy who came over here to study english for a year)...

i introduced myself to both of them.. not typical of me.. but i figured why not.. i wanted to get to know people i was going to be volunteering with... the first person i met was waldo.. he was sorta watching the volunteers as they worked and eventually he stood at my table.. so i quickly asked for his name and introduced myself.. we had a great conversation.. we talked for a good while.. it was really cool :) i learned that he was taking computer courses.. that he had theories about volunteers.. calling people "genuine volunteers" if they went to volunteer for no reason at all - meaning there was no hidden agenda behind there reason for being there like getting volunteer hours, doing community service, etc. he also told me that he was a shy person normally.. and that he didn't like talking to strangers... but get this.. he said that there was something different about me.. something very positive.. something very approachable about me that made him want to come up and talk with me.... and he said this the next day i was there too... i mean he got all of that just by seeing me.. noticing my disposition, my appearance...

that totally stunned me.. here i was thinking that i was all these bad things after monday night.. and God just totally used what waldo said to encourage me... it was awesome :) so maybe it's just that i don't click w/ the CCC people? or they just don't feel like they need to talk to me or something.. i have no idea... i've been learning a lot that i can talk w/ non-Christians so much easier than Christians... it just seems like that nowadays.. justin said something to me that really struck me.. when i talked with him... he suggested that maybe my ministry now isn't with Christians, but with NON-Christians... maybe it is? perhaps...

i didn't get to volunteer there after the two days because the nurse told me to stay home and rest.. mono isn't a very nice illness.. it has a lot of potential to do a lot of harm.. so i've been trying to take it easy over the past few weeks :)

church hunting :)

in my church hunt... i've come to the realization that i want to make a return to the asian community..or at least more of an asian community... if i ever get married and have kids.. i'd want them to be surrounded with asian kids... not ONLY asian kids.. it'd be my dream to be in a multi-cultural place.... but i'd rather them be surrounded with people of their own culture.. UAC is a great church, but it's predominantly caucasian so i dunno... i might still check out their sunday night service since it's a student run deal so it might be different?

but i was thinking.. if i went to a place like ETCBC.. i already have a lot of friends there.. and since i know tim, i could have a lot of freedom to serve in ministry there.. so it might be a pretty good fit...? good speakers.. i have the options of serving... and i know people there.. of course i was thinking that all the uni students that are my friends from ETCBC are all out of towners.. so i would probably feel awkward being there for a while.. everytime i hang out w/ the ETCBC people, i never talk to those other uni students... but that could change.. whatever! :) if i do go to ETCBC.. i have to talk to joanne about it. cuz she's still got a real strong heart for MCBC...

maybe there's some other good asian churches with a lot of uni students.. i know rh3c has a lot of local students.. *i think*... and i was very impressed w/ the whole 24/7 thing because ben and jon got so much support from their pastor and stuff.. but i'm not too particularly inclined to go there.. :) it's not because i have anything against the church... i just have my own reservations about it... i think above all, i'm really looking for a place where i can find some solid community.. because i've been lacking it for so very long.... teaching is still important to me, but community is the highest priority on my agenda list.. so wherever that is.. that's where i want to go :)

i've been going to APC for about a month now.. i don't know anyone.. so i just go for service and head home.. that's basically it.. no interaction with other people.. it's the same deal as watching 7:22! :) at least in my opinion... i've only been going there because i need to go somewhere for service.. it's just bad news if i stop going altogether! that's big problems :P

on monday, i went on a sandwich run with some people mainly from rh3c and rhcbc.. i went because ben told me about it and i thought it would be a great thing to participate since it's reaching out to the homeless and what have you.. i knew that i'd feel awkward the moment i got there since i don't know anyone.. and guess what? i felt awkward.. it seems like that's a big part of my life now.. feeling like an outsider... boooooooo! but whatever. it's not like i went there to talk to people... we arrived in downtown about 3 or so.. and we broke off into groups... my group didn't really meet a lot of homeless people.. we were in a pretty ritzy area.. we didn't really talk much to those people that we met along the way... just a brief exchange... maybe we should have said more.. next time perhaps.. i think other groups would ask if they believed in God or something like that... *shrugs*

anyway.. at the end of it.. i started talking to casey.. he's a guy that i met a while back.. from the TC planning committee.. never really talked w/ him before.. but we talked for a bit and it was quite interesting.. i found out that him, syd and vinci do sandwich runs EVERY week!! isn't that nuts? that's such an awesome thing.. i was pretty impressed :) that's like hardcore man.. really impressive stuff... and he told me he's going into seminary when he's done his schooling at UT... so i was like whoa.. that's like what me and jer and justin are going to be doing... :) then i started thinking about maybe checking out RHCBC.. cuz.. i know several people there.. olive, joyce, vinci, casey, steve... well i don't know a lot but whatever.. and like olive, joyce and casey are local uni students.. and they're all very cool people :) so maybe i could find some community there? maybe i'll go check it out in january when i can check out churches again :)

the life that leads to why... God's working :)

December 12, 2002

on saturday, i went to APC for the saturday night gathering. i wanted to check it out because it was supposed to be contemporary and what have you. so i figured that would be where all the young people were at. it was a LOT smaller than i had anticipated. maybe a congregation of 50 people? and i was wrong. it wasn't just young people - though i did spot more than on sunday (maybe because there was less people so i actually saw young people). it was much more of a laid back feel - much more relaxed. the song choices i felt were more contemporary - i liked the worship leader. he had a nice voice :) though the sound system was still weird. i don't know what's up with that. maybe it's cuz the sanctuary is so large, that the sound doesn't carry well. maybe.

the speaker was talking about the magi and the star. they're doing the whole Christmas series by the way. so yeah, nothing too different or unique about it. but what he was talking about really spoke to me, and i think God used what he said to really get me thinking. you see, APC is holding three christmas presentations - one was last sunday, one is tomorrow (friday) and i think the last is this coming sunday. so yeah, while he was talking, the thought crossed my mind that i should ask mandy to go watch the christmas presentation with me (it was an outreach). and i was sitting there, thinking - where did that come from. well i knew where it came from - i just wasn't expecting it. so when i got home, i left mandy a message on ICQ thinking that this was something God was orchestrating and i went to bed.

i checked out UAC sunday morning. WOW - it was very heroic! the music was like amazing. very good technically. :) the team had a great sound. the electric guitarist was a real hero. i was watching him play for a lot of the time!! so yeah, the congregation is basically all caucassian. i don't know if i'm down with that. not to say that i have anything against that, but i am looking for more multi-cultarlism. the speaker was really passionate about what he was talking about. it was interesting :) he was talking about Jesus and like the thing about being free from sin kinda idea. i'm going to check our their sunday night service because it's a student-run deal - so that might be interesting :)

i got home, and basically tried getting in touch with mandy. but her cell phone was like messed up. so i was like, errrrrrrr.. wondering what to do because she wasn't on ICQ either and that was my only way of contacting her. so i tried calling her like a million times. by the time it was like 5:30 pm, i was getting somewhat worried. because that was the time i had planned to leave my house to go pick her up at york (the thing started at 6:30 i think). but i was like thinking- if God wanted her to go, He'd make it all work out. and finally i got in touch with her and she said yes! so i was really happy about that. i hopped in the car and drove to get her. we arrived at the church, and took a seat. it was pretty crowded!!! lotsa people were there. and eventually the night begin. the music was awesome!!! the soloists... oh man.. so very dirty.. :) and the play that went along with is was really hilarious :) mandy was laughing a lot so that was good - i knew she was enjoying it. it was a really well done presentation!! it's obvious that they put a lot of time into it. :) i was like very very impresesd... i might go see it again tomorrow w/ sharon and justin. :) anyhow, mandy said she enjoyed it... i should have asked her what she thought about the CONTENT... she did tell me that she used to go to sunday school...... so i guess i know a little bit more about her background? :)

but the whole deal was really cool.. i mean, it was really like God orchestrated the entire thing.. i mean i went to APC saturday night where He like put the idea in my mind.. then i asked her to go, she was cool with it cuz she wasn't doing anything... and yeah all that neat stuff :) i think that was like one of the only times i've ever asked my non-Christian friends to come with me to a Christian event.. God's totally working on me in this respect... i was also thinking back to louie's "the life that leads to why series"... and he was saying that when you're good friends enough with people around you... like they'll go with you anywhere.. as long as it's with you.. so maybe i'm good enough friends with mandy now? i've learned that she does actually care about my well-being.. because i told her that i was dizzy, and she'd always be asking me if i was okay, if i was still dizzy, that kind of thing.. so that's cool! :) man, it'd be really cool if she came back to Jesus somewhere down the road... :)

free at last :)

lots of things have happened since i've last written. so instead of putting them all into one huge entry, i've decided to split them up.

i finally finished school last thursday. i don't know how well i did on my exam - i sorta tried to study, probably not my best effort. but all that matter was that it was done. and the first chapter of my second year had come to an end. like i've said, it's been a total struggle during the entire semester - but i think God's really been teaching me a lot. and the major thing He's shown me over first semester, is that if you proclaim to love God - then you MUST love His people. and so that could mean a variety of different things for you. for me, it meant that i had to stop getting "fat" in the church (as louie put it), and out into the streets to proclaim Him. :) He's reshown me that i just need to trust Him to get me through the rest of my time in design - even though i'm inadequate, even though i don't have the skills - He'll carry me through it.

back to thursday... andrew planned for me, gavin and keith to go over to his place after our exam to just hang out, play video games, eat, that kind of idea. he planned this deal for a really LONG time. what intended to be a four person thing, ended up to be like a 8 person thing - what can you do. :) karen, tim, jung and mandy came along, and mandy actually slept over! i basically spent the entire thursday/friday with them - cuz eric had to go back to sauga at night, so we hung out with them afterwards.

our group of friends are very indecisive, much like any teen/young adult our age - that's like one of the characteristics of our generation! we met up at square one and hung out there for a bit. man that place is HUGE - there's so much space - it seems like such a waste. if you want an idea of compactness, that's pacific. if you want a ton of space between stores, that's square one. :) we tried to decide what to do after that, and finally we did the whole bowling thing.

i sorta noticed something while i bowled. i've gone bowling many times before, but it's normally with my Christian friends. this time it wasn't. like the entire atmosphere felt different, felt a little strange. i guess it's cuz we weren't having fellowship with one another. how could we? not all of us were Christians! it was just bowling. plain ol bowling. stare at the pins fall down. roll the ball. clap if someone gets a strike/spare. stand up. sit down. seemed kinda pointless. so i just sat there and watched as things happened. i never really noticed that. maybe that's the difference between friendship and fellowship. i remember justin and i had this conversation back at the airport during the summer. well maybe that's the answer? i'm not disregarding the whole hanging out thing in a friendship - because it does serve it's purpose - it's just different.

lead me on Jesus, lead me on :)

December 3, 2002

i haven't written in a while.

i went to agincourt pentecostal church on sunday. eric just started his volunteer work last week, so i'm now on the market for a church once again. :) cornerstone is a really cool community, don't get me wrong. it's just not MY community. i mean, if i was an older person, like 26+ or so, i'd totally go to that church. it's a pretty happening place!

so yeah, i didn't really know what to expect, bu i was really surprised at how "not pentecostal" it was. i don't know. whenever i think of pentecostal, i think of some like crazy pentecostal action going on - like full of the Spirit type things you know? so i'm all expecting this to happen, and to my surprise it was QUITE 'normal'. a lady spoke in tongues, but someone interpreted it. that was pretty cool!

they had this ROCKIN' choir that sang joy to the world. i think i almost died when i heard them. like, CD quality hello! :) it was awesome stuff. i wish i was sitting closer cuz i couldn't hear them too well, but WOW. great stuff! and the message was pretty solid. it's VERY Biblical - the pastor was busting up Scripture from all over the place! he was basically talking about failures, and used rahab the prostitute as an example. i thought it was really cool how he talked about her and showing how she's in the family tree of Jesus and all this neat stuff. :) very cool! i didn't really see a lot of young people in the congregation, maybe because they don't go to the 11 o'clock service? so i'm going to check out the saturday service at 6:00 pm :) they have this like fellowship for 19-24 year olds called resonate maybe i'll check that out some time.

i'm also thinking i might want to take a peak at unionville alliance church and see what they're all about too. i'm really loving the whole diversity thing. i love it. it's much more of an accurate picture of God's universal family and what heaven is going to be like :) but yeah, i feel as if i'm slowing 'drifting' away from my asian connections or what have you. i'm at CCC, and most likely a non-chinese church. the only connection i have w/ chinese people are my friends in design, and my friends from churches (like sharon, justin, jer, JON :P, etc.) which is a little bit weird. i dunno. i know i'm chinese for a reason. haven't figured out why yet. it's not a big deal to me anymore - not like before. but i do think about it still.

i have an exam tomorrow and on thursday - and then i am FREE!! :) isn't that wild? i'm so looking forward to it. :)

oh, i forgot. last thursday, my friend andrew calls me up because he has a project due on friday. so i'm like yeah i can come over, i have nothing to do. so guess what. i end up "sleeping" over at his house because he needed help on his project and by the time he started working on it, it was like 1 am. so i wasn't just going to leave and go home. i was getting pretty tired. at about 2:30 am, i told him that i was going to sleep and told him to wake me up when he needed help. so he woke me up about 4 times. i basically woke up at 5:30 am, and decided that i would give up on sleeping. i only slept for like 2 hours that night. but yeah, i helped him as best as i could. i think he appreciated that because i like made myself sleep there just to help him.

i'm becoming pretty close with him now. i've been finding out a lot about him, his family, his whole deal. which is really cool. and vice versa. perhaps one of these days we could talk about some God stuff :) i dunno! i don't want to be like forcing it on him or whatever, but yeah that'd be cool. :) very very cool. i do know he used to go to rh3c, but i don't know what happened to him. so we'll see what happens in the future :) on saturday, i basically hung out w/ hiim the entire day cuz we went to cpused to check out the mac sale (which was not worth our time) and then we ate lunch and played games for a few hours!

i think i'm getting used to being in the design program, and just talking to like more people now. when i think about it, i've met a lot of people this term or just have realized that they know i exist :) let's see, i've met: travis, kathryn, lindsey, amanda, silvia, tim, archie, jen, sam, abigal...... hmm, might be more, but i don't remember. i knew some of them from last year, but i didn't realize they know who i was :) lol! so that's neat.. of course i don't know them all personally, we're all more like acquaintinces, but over time i'm sure that'll change somewhat! :)

OH, and guess what? i checked my marks for type II today - and YEAH i got a B on my project 3 and project 4! sweet action :) like hello. a B for my event mark (that's HAND DONE stuff) - isn't that nuts???? soooooo amazing. i thought i would like totally bomb that one since i can't draw worth a rip. and even the chemise, cuz my mom isn't the greatest semstress in the world - but i got a B on that too.. so cool! :) i know i doubt God a lot w/ respects to the design program... but He's always carrying me through it... as long as i try my best, He'll do the rest :) it's as simple as that!

this has turned out to be QUITE the lengthy entry. goes to show that i should write more often so i don't have to bore everybody with the length :p

2 exams to go! i need to study soon... :P i've been watching smallville lately, so good :) i've downloaded like almost all of season one now .. hahah... clark has to hook up with lana! :) i'm waiting for it to happen.. i think i need a life.... :P

g'nite :)