ever think about showers?

January 23, 2003

sometimes, when i'm not planning to go out of the house for the day, i don't take a shower in the morning like i normally do. maybe it's because i'm just lazy so i don't feel like it's necessary to get nice and squeaky clean if i'm not leaving the house. but ALWAYS, somewhere the in day, i'll feel really gross and i'll end up taking a shower at some point.

you ever feel that way? you might be outside playing sports, or just doing some activity and at the end of it, you just feel completely disgusted and grossed out? and the first thing that comes across your mind is that you need to take a shower! once you step into the house, you immediately proceed to pop into the shower to get clean, refreshed, etc.

well i was thinking this morning about this whole showering process. why i do it, why other people do it. the basic reason why anyone of us take showers is because we want to wash off the dirt, the yuckiness, the stench of our own body aroma (perhaps this is worse for some than others *grin*) and become clean once again. that's really why people shower. plus we have the ability to take showers whenever we please, so people may take showers to freshen up to go out to a nice classy restaurant, etc. you get the idea.

do you know people that take showers more than once a day? i do. i've known people that would take 2-3 showers everyday! people really want to be clean! or perhaps there's other reasons behind their showers, but let's assume for the moment it's for the point of cleanliness.

when i think about our almost instinctive response to take a shower after a "gruelling day", i wonder why our response to sin isn't always dealt in the same kind of mentality. if the dirt on our bodies from our daily routine bother us so much to drive us to take a shower, how much more then, should the stench, the filth of our own sin drive us to repentence at the Cross of our loving Savior? when we sin, our immediate reponse should be to ask God for His forgiveness and grace on us. for doing it our way instead of His way, for relying on our own abilities than on Him. for simply just failing to do what is pleasing in His sight. so it's not about us waiting until the end of the day to repent or just dismiss what we've done and carry on with our day. it's us realizing that the most important thing in this world us to be in fellowship with God, to be in right fellowship with Him. and once that's broken because of our sin, we need to RUN to the Cross and ask Him for mercy on us. this broken relationship should DRIVE us to Him. after all, who wants to feel dirty and unclean all day long? i sure don't!

just like we'd run to a shower after we're covered with dirt and filth, let's run to our Heavenly Father's loving arms when we've been covered with the filth and stench of our sin!

what do you think when you think about God?

January 22, 2003

"the most important thing about any person is what that person thinks about, when they think about God" - a.w. tozer

there's so much truth to that statement. tozer said it because the way someone thinks about God, is the way that they'll respond to Him. and isn't that, after all, what life is all about? how we respond to God?

we were made as relational beings. we were made with a void in our hearts, that can only be filled by Him. so how we respond to Him is the greatest issue in our lives - because that will dictate the way we live our lives! the cool thing about all of this, is that it's not up to us to define who we think God is. God chose to REVEAL to us what He's like - we don't have to figuring it all out for ourselves. He did it for us :)

at the same time, it's important for us to think about how we think about God. do we see Him as our Father? do we see Him as this distant God? do we see Him as a God who's too "old" to know anything?

when i think about God, i think about God as:

my strength, my hope, my comforter, my friend, my salvation, my refuge, merciful, forgiving, HUGE, beyond comprehension, unfathomable, artistic, creative......[to be continued] i'm going to do a mindmap on this.

i want to see God as Father. as a Perfect Father. as my Perfect Father. louie was talking about the one characteristic that Jesus wanted to portray about God - God as the Perfect Father. Jesus was the SON of God. that never really made me think about Jesus being a SON of God. and God as the FATHER. i want to wrap my heart around this truth.

Daddy, please teach your son about you. :)

the power of one

if you've ever been to york, during the winter time (or basically just any cold stretch), they'll lower these glass doors/walls to create indoor walkways around the outside of a building. most smokers normally smoke in this area, when the doors/walls aren't lowered which is perfectly fine. but when the glass doors and walls are lowered, you're not supposed to smoke in that area. why? simple - it's enclosed - making it "indoors" so-to-speak. most people simply disregard this fact and smoke anyways. who wants to smoke in the cold?

as i was leaving to head home from class today and walked through one of these walkways, i noticed the smell of smoke. and i was wondering what was causing it, since i didn't see anyone smoking. well, it turns out that on the OPPOSITE end of the walkway, there was a girl smoking the corner. her simple action of smoking, eventually filled up the ENTIRE walkway (and this isn't some rinky dinky short walkway) - it was probably around 10 m in length. i thought it was amazing, that a single individual could have so much influence in the area around her by smoking a cigarette. she polluted that entire walkway singlehandedly.

ever think you're too small to do something? ever think that one person can't do anything? i sure do. after all, what difference could one person make?

but in actuality, one person can make a lot of difference. Jesus changed history as we know it. Jesus rocked the world's moral standards. Jesus took the sins of everyone on planet earth, so that we could enter into a relationship with the Living God :)

and we, as sons and daughters of God, are heirs to the Kingdom. we have the mighty and awesome power of the Holy Spirit dwelling within us. we are tapped into the richest, wealthiest power source in the entire universe. so yes, we are too small to do anything on our OWN. and we can't do anything on our own strength. but through Him, we can do anything. through Him, anything is possible!

if one little cigarette could pollute and affect an entire walkway, think about the impact that a son/daughter of God could have through the LIMITLESS power of the Holy Spirit. just imagine.

and for argument's sake, i know this analogy is a little strange sounding by comparing a negative thing like cigarette smoke to the power of God, but you get the idea :)

"i can do everything through Him who gives me strength" - philippians 4:13

amen.

eureka!

January 19, 2003

for the first time in several months, i had the opportunity to lead worship. brett asked me last week if i wanted to lead worship for crusades, and i happily agreed. i haven't had the opportunity to serve like this in ages. the last time i lead worship was back at markham (in september), so it's been a long time!

i was actually getting a little bit stressed out with the set, wondering if i still knew how to plan a set, or even lead for that matter. i created a set and was planning to go ahead with it, but the more i thought about it, the more i didn't think it was going to work too well. in fact, i changed the set on thursday afternoon, about two hours before crusades actually started. it was a really last minute deal, but i felt like God was nudging me to change it. so i did!

planning a worship is a little bit different to me now than before. i guess i've begun to approach a bit more from a creative standpoint. what could i do to make the set unique? are there any special transitions, medleys that could be done to help cultivate the best worshipful atmosphere? that kinda mentality. i showed up at york at about 4:30 awaiting my team members (only two of them) - a guitarist and a keyboardist.

i think i've taken for granted my worship team members back at markham. we all had a good understanding of one another, and as a worship leader, people knew the way i lead, so they'd know when to come in, cut, etc. and so i had all these ideas planned out for the meeting, but i didn't expect that it might not be possible since i had never played w/ these other two people before. so when we started practicising, it just caught me off guard. not to say they aren't musical, it's just they aren't used to my leading style. how could they be? :)

when the worship time began, it was a little awkward. i felt like people were just staring at me but i shrugged it off and kept going. as time progressed i started noticing people really engaging with God. :) i miss that. i miss the opportunity to lead people into worship. it really makes me happy :) i mean when you see people just going after the heart of God, that's just awesome!! it wasn't like i was staring at people or anything like that, but you need to be aware of what's happening in the people, so you always have to look around. but yeah, it was really encouraging. and a few people said a word of thanks afterwards, so that was pretty cool. i've almost forgotten what it's like to be on a worship team or leading for that matter, since it's been so long.

i also figured something out while i was at crusades on thursday. my friend jen came to crusades finally (one of the girls from crusades brought her) and afterwards she was telling me how people were really friendly to her and stuff. so she was like, i don't get what you were talking about.

and THEN it hit me! like 99% of the times, when someone goes to a fellowship or a church or anything, they're normally BROUGHT by someone. and so that someone always makes sure their friend that they brought is being introduced to people, is feeling welcomed, etc. and if they're not, that person will stick with them! so there's still some consistency or at least feeling okay about going to a place.

but then there are people like me. who just wander into fellowships/churches by myself. and i'm not very vocal about my being somewhere. why? cuz i'm shy. i don't like to introduce myself as a newcomer so that everyone will know that i'm there and look at me or whatever. it's just not my style. i like to make a quiet entrance :) so anyway, i'm thinking. since i don't have a person introducing me to others, and i don't really like to make myself known at new places i go to, people just don't notice that i exist. it's just the way it is. when you have a somewhat large fellowship, people aren't going to notice the quiet ones (unless they're like super heroic w/ newcomers)! SO, what does this mean? i figure that's why at crusades, no one really talks to me. because i'm too quiet to be noticed and there's no one trying to introduce me or anything. and i figure that's why i've been having so much trouble with finding a church. because i'm too quiet for anyone to notice and i don't really make an effort. yeah, i'm like that. well maybe i try sometimes, but it's something i still need to work on (with God's help of course).

i also noticed this whole thing when i went to salt fellowship yesterday (rhcbc's uni fellowship). one of the girls BROUGHT her friend. no one brought me. i just showed up. so like she was introducing her friend to people. and then there's me. i just sorta sat there :) so i was like that's it! that's totally it. it's the whole friend bringing you business that helps people really feel connected and welcomed. but mind you, there still are people who just can come alone and feel welcomed. that is, if they're like outgoing and actually TALK to people (unlike us introverted people).

i'll talk about my whole rhcbc experiences in a next entry. so by the way, i've started to go to RHCBC :)