the generations to come

February 27, 2003

seems like i've been noticing a lot while walking around york campus.

i was walking to class today and something caught hold of my attention. after a snowfall, the grassy areas become covered with lots of deep snow. there's normally shortcuts that people will take to avoid walking in a square (we all know a straight line is the shortest distance), and these shortcuts are still taken DESPITE the amount of snow on the ground.

i've always wondered about that, i mean, how many people does it take to create a pathway in the snow? the first person that walks through it has to walk through some THICK snow and get their boots all wet, along with their pants, socks. for the second person that walks, it might not be as bad because there's some footprints to step into at least. and so this pattern continues until a person like me, many many times later, can walk quite easily on the snow, as the path's been well developped by that point of time. i've never really given this whole deal much thought until today. or maybe i have, and just haven't noticed?

regardless, this imagery reminded me of a few things:

1) missionaries in foreign countries that are martyrs for their faith. they might have sowed seeds all their lives and have never seen any harvesting. generations of missionaries might go into a foreign country with the Gospel and never see any results. they never get to see the fruit of all their work that they invested. but eventually at some point, the hard work, the prayers will be finally answered and one generation will reap the harvest. maybe they'll know of the believers of the faith who passed on trying to spread the Good News, or maybe not. in the same way, i have no idea who first walked through the thick snow and started the path. i've only reaped the benefits of it. but there has been people who started it all - who trudged through the snow, starting the path.

2) it's important for each generation to "pass on the buck" to the next. to pave the way for the next generation to perhaps become more devoted followers and lovers of Christ than they were. it's like the pathway in the snow. the more people cross it, the easier it becomes. that's not to say that it becomes easier for the next generation of Christ followers, but because the generation previous to it has gone through it, there's all these experiences that they've encountered and could share those experiences w/ the upcoming generation. there have been a ton of great theologians (c.s. lewis, a.w. tozer, etc.) that have lived and died. their journey with God has been documented, so people like us, many years later can read an account of what they learned, experienced, in order to help us with our walk with God. and the best thing we have, is the Bible! i mean, we have an account of all the amazing experiences that those people faced. what this does for the next generation is to "enlighten" them with truths and to help them in their faith. that kinda idea. so the more you "pave the way", the "easier" it'll become for the next.

near the end of the book of joshua, a tribe (i think the isrealites) erected a kind of monument for God. it was basically so that they wouldn't forget all that God had done for them. and it was also so that the generations to come wouldn't forget what God had done for their forefathers. i think we need to be reminded to do that, at least for ourselves. that we remember what God has done in our lives and never forget.

"let this be written for a future generation, that a people not yet created may praise the Lord" (psalm 102:18 [NIV])

the praise of all peoples

February 15, 2003

i went to the raptors game yesterday with justin, jer and wayne. justin had some extra tickets and was kind enough to ask wayne, jer and i along with him! who am i to pass up a free ticket? :)

i was observing the crowd during the game last night. we were told that there were about 19,300 fans in the stadium. and i was watching how this energy would build up in the fans (and me) when the raptors were playing well and had good plays, and how that energy would dissipate when they weren't playing too well. it was like the raptors were earning our applause when they did well. at some points of the game, the crowd was going completelyt nuts, especially at the end of the 4th quarter when we evened up the score, going into overtime. the whole stadium with this huge crowd reminded me of urbana 2000.

so i started thinking about the praise that would happen in heaven when we get there. you think the energy of 19,300 people is loud and incredible? well it is; the sound of people applauding, cheering, shouting, and even screaming is pretty amazing. it's like this emotion starts buliding and building until it erupts in some kind of physical action that expresses what we feel. when someone starts screaming their lungs out, that's when they're just completing erupting with emotion!

how amazing would the combined energy of all the Christians, past, present and future be? :) instead of cheering on a team to play better defense/offense, we'd be cheering on God. for all that He is, for all that He has done. and it wouldn't be like our energy would lessen until God did something to earn it. He DESERVES it. it would be this continual energy that would erupt from every fibre of our being and give praise, honor and glory to God. that's such an incredible picture! :)

a glimpse of heaven from revelation: "day and night they never stop saying: 'Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is tocome.'" (revelation 4:8)

who me?

tuesday night, i get a call from uncle pui-wing. he's one of the sunday school teachers from RHCBC. and get this, he asks me if i want to be a discussion group leader for the upcoming salt retreat. i was pretty shocked. i mean, where does he come off thinking that i could be a good discussion group leader? does he see something in me that i didn't notice? i'd only been at the church for about 4/5 weeks. but i told him yes. i wanted to start serving at the church, and here was an opportunity.

do i know what i'm doing? not at all. i don't find myself to be a good discussion group leader, i mean the times where i've had to lead group discussions, most people never said much. maybe it was me. maybe it was the group. in any case, no one really talked. it was like pulling teeth. do i think i'm qualified to lead a group? do i know what i'm talking about? hardly. but perhaps that makes me well suited to lead. because i don't know what i'm doing. and the only way anything good could come out of it is by the power of the Holy Spirit empowering me to do it :)

"i can do everything through Him who gives me strength" (philppians 4:13)

i was also asked to play bass for the salt retreat too. pretty heavy stuff! :) that's two committments for one thing. i'm not complaining, i just think it's neat that i've been given two opportunites to serve in the church after such a short period of time. it's pretty incredible! i'm happy. i really miss serving, in any capacity. i think that's been an area of my life that has been completely neglected since i've left markham. no opportunity to serve. but now, that's all different. :) i'll be heading out to the salt retreat next weekend, despite my concern with not being able to complete my work in time. but i'll just have to trust God with that :)

last sunday, i went out to the morning prayer meeting (it's unofficial) because casey's been asking me to go. and frankly, i've been wanting to go out and pray. it was pretty cool! :) it began with just me and him, and two other people came into the room while we were praying. it was an awesome time. i totally want to commit myself to going out and praying every sunday morning, unless i'm involved w/ the worship team or something :)

the dirty car

February 9, 2003

i meant to write about this a while ago, but it sorta slipped my mind :)

a few days ago, i was driving somewhere and i saw a car that was so dirty at the back of the car that you could no longer read the license plate what-so-ever! it was completely covered with filth! i don't think i've ever seen a car THAT dirty.

how does so much dirt accumulate on a car you ask? it's easy. you NEVER wash it. most people can't stand a dirty car. if you were trying to sell your car, do you think you'd let all this dirt pile up on it? of course not. you'd shine it up, maybe give it a good wax job! you'd want to present it as best as you can.

i was thinking about that image that i saw. it was like a picture of what happens when we sin. idealistically we should be in right fellowship with Christ moment by moment. but eventually, we all sin. and our relationship becomes distorted/broken. if we don't do anything about it, our relationship deteriorates all the more, and we become further away from Him. fortunately for us, our relationship will never "disappear" like the license plate, but it can deteriorate/become distorted like it.

so when you sin, don't let it accumulate till the day's end. repent, ask for forgiveness. restore your fellowship with Creator God right then and there!

i think this analogy could go one step further. our sin also interferes with the image of Christ we portray to people. whenever i've sinned and didn't repent immediately, i'd be in a bad mood for the rest of the day, maybe snapping at people for no apparent reason. definitely not being a good image of Christ at all. and this happens because of my broken fellowship with Him.

we are Christ ambassador's to the world. we are "little Christs" to people. and in some cases, we may be the only image of Christ that people have ever seen (that's an absolutely INCREDIBLE thought and scary too!). so if we are bearing a bad image of Him, what kind of witness are we? we'd want to present the best possible image of Christ to the world! why? because He deserves nothing less. in fact, He deserves way more. we don't do Him justice. not even REMOTELY close.

"live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us" (1 peter 2:12 [niv])

let's take the advice of paul and live such sold out lives for Christ that people have no choice but to glorify God :)

"lookie here!"

February 8, 2003

prideful me vs. quiet me.

it was a battle that took place today. i've dedicated all my waking free hours to one specific project over this past week (design & systems 1) because of the magnitude and complexity of it. and by today (the day of class), i had constructed almost all of the program together. i think in the past week alone, i've put in 40-50 hours MINIMUM. when i got to class, a part of me was like "look at what i've done!" and another part of me was like "just be quiet. don't make others feel bad for not having anything done". guess which part won?

that's not to say that i was blantly saying how i was almost done. i showed my project to my friends that asked about it. but i sensed a sense of pride growing in myself that i wasn't fond of. what is it about me that seeks to be recognized and affirmed by man? a part of me is always seeking to be accepted. i guess that's an inate part of every being. the desire & need to be loved and accepted. but the real truth of the matter, that that desire is seeking the wrong thing. it's God who has loved and accepted us first and that's all we need! i just need to wrap my heart around that truth. DAILY.

also, i need to remember that it's been HE who's been helping me along w/ the project, who's been guiding everything. i've been able to do basically everything i wanted in flash, even though i'm not an expert by any regards. and the things i wanted to do were in my opinion, very complicated! when i was doing the programming, ideas would just "pop" into my head and things would work out! :) so it's obvious it wasn't me at all. but some part of me still wants to claim it as my own. as if.

the flash instructor today asked me for my info so that he could contact me later on if he needed to sub-contract a project out to someone. and i was like. what? yeah right! so it comes down to this: if i have the time and the know-how to do what he wants, i'll be paid to work on some projects for him (in the case that he needs someone to help)! how cool is that? i think i need to brush up on my PHP :) but yeah, total blessing from God. :) who woulda thought? like even if i don't have time to do it, i'm in his potential list for people to help out :)

i also went out to SALT tonight (that's the RHCBC uni fellowship). i thought it was a Bible study, but oh they tricked me good! it turned out that it was a surprise guy's appreciation night. very cool :) and at one point, they made up a list of things they appreciated from each person. and i was sitting thinking to myself, hmm.. i'm pretty new here so i doubt they'd say anything about me, which was fine because how can you talk about someone you don't really know? but much to my surprise, they had thought of me. they wrote up a list of qualities they've begun to notice about me. i REALLY and sincerely appreciated that :) it was totally unexpected. i mean they made the effort to remember me in part of that, even though i'm like a newbie :) very, VERY cool :) it's starting to click. things are starting to gel a bit more. i'm still at a surfacey level with basically all of them, but it'll just take time to go deeper. it's always about time!

i told joyce that i wanted to help out w/ worship somewhere down the road at RHCBC. i feel like i'm wasting the gift God has given me by not using it EVER. i rarely am involved with worship anymore because of the fact that i haven't a stable church to go to and what have you. so like it's this whole part of my life that's been cut off. and that's a BIG part of my life. or it was anyway. i believe it's time for me to utilize what God's given me once again :) in time of course!

verse of the day: "in his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God" (psalm 10:4)

"stop talking!"

February 5, 2003

today, i saw a girl walk across this big patch of ice on my way to class. it was interesting to watch. for every step she made, she'd be extremely cautious and careful. basically she'd wait before she made her next move, making sure her foot was firmly planted on the ground before moving on.

so i started thinking about how people generally would walk over a piece of ice. almost everyone slows down when they walk across a big patch of ice (who really wants to fall down?). they'll slow down their pace and carefully ensure that each foot is planted before moving on. hopefully that'll ensure a safe trip across the patch of ice.

if only we were that cautious with the words we speak to others. if we were to carefully consider the words that came out from our mouth before saying them, we could save ourselves and others a lot of harm! words have an incredible power. they can build up a person, encourage them and bring them down. and so what we say to a person can have a larger impact that one might think.

peter always had his foot in his mouth. he'd always say the first thing that came to his mind, and so he'd get himself in trouble a lot. i find that i'm a lot like that too. though i can control my tongue to a certain extent, it's not as much as i'd like. the other day, i made a joke to my mom and after i said it i was smacking myself because i thought it wasn't appropriate at that time immediately after i had said it (normally my mom would laugh with me, but in that circumstance, she didn't). and i was right. my mom proceeded to come downstairs to tell me that it wasn't funny. and boy did i feel stupid.

me and jer always say how we should "stop talking". in most cases i agree with that. i don't see anything wrong with verbalizing your opinion, but if your opinion causes another person to stumble or something along those lines, there's a definite problem. in my experiences, i have in more cases than none said too much. i just need to shut up more and think more carefully about EVERY single word that leaves my mouth just like a person thinks carefully about each step when they walk across a patch of ice.

"but no man can tame the tongue. it is a restless evil, full of deadly poison" (james 3:6)

it's hard for us to encourage/build up other people. i think human tendency is to bring others down, so we ourselves are lifted up above them. it's a pride thing. it's always about ME first, others later (or in some cases never).

i think i need to be more wary of the words i say. if it's not edifying or useful, then just to shut up and stop talking :) but of course, all of this cannot happen on my own. nothing can happen on my own!

it's all Jesus.

satisfied?

February 2, 2003

i was sitting in sunday school today (aka CD team for RHCBCers) and we were talking about a passage in john. this passage has a LOT of food references so as sunday school progressed, i was getting hungrier and hungrier. i mean, come on now. if you talk about eating constantly, you get hungry! :)

so i started thinking about eating. you know sometimes when you're really, really hungry, you really want food right? and when you eat it, you get this sense of supreme satisfaction during the meal. or if you just eat at a nice place (ie. the keg w/ the MEN's group) and you're having your meal, you also have a deep sense of satisfaction when you sink your teeth into the lovely steak :)

i was thinking about that and what was discussed this morning in the sermon. herman was talking about having this deep longing/desire for God (ref: psalm 84:1-7) and he gave a pretty good analogy for it. it was saying how there was this master and this apprentice. and this apprentice was asking his master how to deepen his relationship with God. so the master takes the apprentice and puts his head under water for 30 seconds. then asks him, if there's something you want to ask me. then the apprentice says, yes i'd like to know how to deepen my relationship with God. so the master takes him again, and puts his head under water for 45 seconds. then asks him, if there's something you want to ask me. then the apprentice says, yes i'd like to know how to deepen my relationship with God. so the master takes him again, and puts his head under water for 60 seconds. then asks him, if there's something you want to ask me. then the apprentice says, "air, i need air". and so the master says to the apprentice that he's figured out how to deepen his relationship with God. when his desire for God becomes like that desire he wanted for air, that's key! when his desire for God surpasses all other things in life - when everything else pales in comparison.

so anyway, as i thought about myself being hungry, it became an analogy to me in a different light. think about that satisfaction that you have when you finally eat that meal, or eat the "man's" meal. it's a pretty fulfilling or deep satisfaction right? of course! but it's only short-lived. it passes very quickly afterwards. but with God, it's not like that at all. He quenches our deepest thirsts, our deepest longings, beyond anything that we can imagine. i'm reminded this morning of a quote of john piper: "God is most satisfied in us, when we are most satisfied in Him"

i'm still learning to be "most satisfied in God" - to not have expectations whenever i go to each place, but just to be happy with where i'm at. i think that's one of the things that really messed me up when i was going to fellowships and different churches. i EXPECTED something of people. i expected them to approach and welcome me with open arms. i wasn't happy that Jesus was guiding me or with me, that didn't even occur to me. i wanted human interaction to take place, and it wasn't so i'd get disappointed. what i still need to learn is to be completely satisfied in God, to a degree where i'm not relying on people to affirm who i am or to rely on people to make me feel accepted. because the truth is, people will fail you. God doesn't. He never will :) i think i've moved closer to that from before, but i'm not as close to being satisfied as i thought i was. but that's okay. i'm still learning. God's still teaching me. He's not finished w/ me yet, thank heavens!

so my thought for the day - what's my "desire" level like with God? i want to come to a place where my heart is like the psalmist's from psalm 84: 1-2:

How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD Almighty! My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.

does my soul YEARN and even faint for the God? does my heart and FLESH CRY out for God? is my soul thought every morning when i arise an overwhelming rush and desire to jump into spend time with Him?

i want it to be :) i want everything to pale in comparison to knowing Christ.

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ--the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. (philippians 3: 7-9)

attack of the centipedes!

a few weeks ago, i was sitting in my room doing homework on the computer (as usual) and i noticed that a centipede was crawling up my wall. so i did what any normal mature young adult would do: i ran out of my room and asked mommy to rid the centipede from my room. (not exactly your "tough" guy approach, huh?)

so that was that and i continued working. later on that day, i noticed that yet ANOTHER centipede was crawling up the same wall. so i repeated what i did previously and got my mom to fix the problem.

you'd think that'd be it for the crazy centipedes climbing up my wall? i mean two is quite enough! but, it didn't stop there. a THIRD centipede starting crawling up the exact same wall by nightfall. this time there wasn't anyone home to rescue me.

by this time, i decided that some kind of infestation (GROSS!) had taken place in my room. so i grabbed the vacuum cleaner and much to my disgust began vacuuming my room all over. i think i must have found about 10-20 centipedes (either dead or alive) that were on the carpet of my room. i went outside of my room and noticed that there were centipedes on the landing of the basement to enter my room.

the next day, i was pretty content that i had eliminated this centipede problem. by now, i had a good eye for looking at the ground before i walked around because i didn't want to step on any of the little guys. and lo and behold, more of them were STILL walking around. so i got the vacuum cleaner yet again.

everytime i got rid of one, one would seem to pop up from somewhere else and i'd go get the vacuum cleaner. my attempts for elimination the infestation were purely in vain. unless i had eliminated the ROOT of where these guys were coming from, they'd keep coming!

i recently watched a message from louie (722) before all this craziness that was entitled "one thing". and he had an illustration about the sin in our lives by using an analogy of weeds. you can keep chopping weeds all you like, but whatever you do they'll keep popping back up unless you get rid of the ROOT. and for us, we can try to do all these things to get rid of maybe that "one sin" that keeps making us fall. but try all we like, it'll keep popping back up because we don't know what the root of the problem is. we can do all these things to try and prevent it, but it won't work. only God knows the root of our problems. only God knows JUST how deep they run. some of these might have deeper roots than others.

and so, i felt that this centipede problem i was having very closely paralleled that idea that louie presented. unless i knew where they were coming from, i could get rid of the ones i saw all i liked, but they'd still keep coming. it was only unless i found the root that i could eliminate the entire problem altogether! and so the application is the same. only God knows the root, and only God knows how to get rid of the problem. there is hope! we have to fix our eyes on Jesus.

"fix your eyes on God, He'll change you from the inside out" (romans 12:2 [the message])