no more 'what ifs?'

August 25, 2003

meant to write this several days ago, but i've been pre-occupied with a lot of things.

no more 'what ifs?' was the thought that ran across my mind after some time had passed from august 13th. before that realization, millions 'what ifs?' flooded my mind. thoughts of what i could have done, what i could have said, prayers i could have spoken. but when i thought about it. it didn't matter. all those 'what ifs?' were really small in comparison to the sovereignty of God. as if i could have done something to have stopped what happened. how could i? i am but a speck of dust on this earth, a tiny microscopic dot in the scheme of the entire universe.

the sovereign will of God will happen, despite anything we try to do to assist or prevent it. God is soveriegn. that's what it means. everything and anything is underneath His Almighty control. so to speculate and ponder about all these 'what ifs?' really accomplishes nothing, but to belittle God by saying that He was not in control, and that we could have done something to change the situation. God's sovereignty means that He's in COMPLETE control, He knows what He's doing, and that nothing can change that. if God wasn't sovereign, than the thing that was in complete control, that wasn't affected by any other factors, and that knew exactly what was going on, would be God! but there is no one like that, except for the God in the Bible, the God of all the universe, the God of all creation.

so don't ever allow 'what ifs?' to overcome you in any circumstance. because by speculating on these things, we belittle God and put our faith and trust in ourselves. and when that happens, all our hope and faith are gone, because we lose sight of the One who is all knowing, all loving, and all deserving of praise.

"let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." (hebrews 10:23 [NIV])

the solid rock

August 17, 2003

if God didn't exist, i would have no hope.
if God didn't exist, i would be a complete and total wreak.
if God didn't exist, i would have endless and unanswerable questions.
if God didn't exist, i would be overwhelmed with pain unspeakable.
if God didn't exist, i would not have the strength to go on.
if God didn't exist, i would see things for face value.
if God didn't exist, i would not understand.
if God didn't exist, i would have no peace.
if God didn't exist, i would be lost.
if God didn't exist, i would not know what to do.
if God didn't exist, i would not be able to face the next day.

this list continues exhaustively, but these thoughts immediately surface to my mind. thankfully He does exist. and more than that, God is still the same loving, caring, righteous, holy, merciful, kind, gracious, compassionate God He always was. things still don't make sense to me. but it's okay, God knows what He's doing. He's still in control. He knows what's best for us. He's still sovereign. He's still the almighty God He always ways. i forever will place all of my hope and trust in Him, because it's in Him, that i am strong. "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 cor 12:9 [NIV])

who is man to question God? who is man to demand answers from God? as if we could even minutely comprehend the Godship of God and His reasons for things to happen.

---

without You i would have no hope i'd be all alone without You without You i could not be strong i could not go on without You without You

who would i be if You didn't love me
who would i be without You
who would i be if You didn't save me
who would i be without You

without You life would make no sense
dreams would always end without You
without You spring would not appear
storms would never clear without You
without You

by brian & joyce doerksen (without you)

looking in the wrong places

August 10, 2003

so i'm at home on friday trying to study for my upcoming accounting exam. and you know when you try to study for something, you always prefer to do anything else, so long as it's not studying. well that was me on friday. i remembered that i had received a package from ebay and put it in my room somewhere earlier in the week. so i spent a large part of the morning trying to find it in my room and in the rest of the house, because it wasn't where i thought i had put it. i reflected on my week, trying to pinpoint when i picked it up and where i put it, and where it may have gone. but all my efforts were in vain. this bothered me to no end. i had to find it, i just HAD to. or else i wouldn't be able to study. something prompted me to go to the mailbox to pick up the mail for the day. and when i opened it, lo and behold, the package that i THOUGHT i had received was waiting for me in the slot. i picked it up, closed the box, and was amazed at my own folly. i had actually imagined the whole thing of picking up the package and putting it in my room. it didn't actually happen, but my mind thought it did. so here i was, looking for a package in my house that didn't exist, because it was sitting in the mailbox.

often we look in all the wrong places when we ask God for something. when we pray for specific items, we tend to shape our focus onto the response we want and that's where we look. when nothing happens, we think God has ignored our prayers or isn't answering us. quite often, however, God has answered us. but in fact, it's something quite different from what we expected when we prayed our prayer, so we miss it. we grumble and complain about God not answering us, when He has. what needs to happen is a shift of our focus/perspective. if you ask God for something, be prepared for His answer, not your own. granted, sometimes God doesn't answer us immediately and we have to wait until His response comes. be patient. He'll answer in His timing, and His ways.

this incident reminds me of a story i once heard, about a guy who was trapped in a flood and was standing on the roof of his house. he asked God to save him. as time passed on, various attempts were made to try and save the guy (i don't remember exactly what they were). attempts like lowering a ladder from a helicopter so he could climb up it and be rescued. the guy denies all these rescue attempts and i think he ends up drowning. and so he thinks that God has not answered him and questions God with "why didn't you save me?" God's response was that He tried saving him many times, through each one of those rescue attempts. because the guy expected something else, he missed God's answer to his prayer. he missed it royally.

where are you looking?

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." (isaiah 55:8-9 [NIV])

what do you think about, when you think about God?

August 8, 2003

i picked up a book by a.w. tozer called the "knowledge of the holy" over the past weekend. i've been waiting to get my hands on a book by a.w. tozer, because he was louie giglio's mentor. i love louie giglio. and so i wanted to know about this man who made such a deep impact in louie's life, because louie's made a big impact in my life.

in any case, i started reading it on tuesday morning, one chapter a day. the chapters are really short, only a few pages, but i've taken my time to read through it slowly. the first chapter really challenged me in the way that i think about idolatry. tozer writes it like this:

"let us beware lest we in our pride accept the erroneous notion that idolatry consists only in kneeling before visible objects of adoration, and that civilised peoples are therefore free from it. the essence of idolatry is the entertainment of thoughts about God that are unworthy of Him..." and continues with this, "wrong ideas about God are not only the fountain from which polluted waters of idolatry flow; they are themselves idolatrous. the idolater simply imagines things about God and acts if they were true."

he began the chapter by saying "what comes into your mind when you think about God is the most important thing about you" because the way we think about God is the way we'll act towards Him. and that shapes who we are, what we think, what we say and what we do. that's why it's the most important thing about us. the danger of thinking wrong things about God, is that we'll act out towards a wrong image of God, and that is idolatry, because we've made God to be something He is not. how important is it, therefore, to saturate ourselves in the holy Scriptures with a burning desire to know about the attributes of our Father without any hesitation or excuse?

what do you think about, when you think about God? it's the most important thing about you.

"Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess." (hebrews 3:1 [NIV])

the body of Christ

August 5, 2003

friday morning we had a production meeting at work. there were two things that really caught my attention during that meeting:

1) the whole idea of teamwork - how my boss (jeff) was talking about the fact that we all had unique talents and abilities and that we should be relying on one another for advice, help, colloboration, etc. he reinforced the necessity of relying on one another because we're a team. he pointed out the uniqueness of each individual that was present at the meeting, and that we should be aware of each other's abilities. this kind of mentality really parallels the body of Christ. God gives all of us unique gifts and abilities and when we are serving Him, there's not one part that outshines the rest. we all need one another if we are going to accomplish anything. "The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" (1 cor 12:21 [NIV]) how important is it for us to rely on each other? the body of Christ works together as a team. and as a team, we don't glorify a certain individual within the team. the team as an entirety is glorified when accomplishments are made. and because we are on the team Jesus, Jesus is glorified when accomplishments are made through the body because we are the body of CHRIST. so that means Christ is glorified in the body when it succeeds. not any individual part. :)

2) having vision - we're trying to start up a new magazine that's pending to launch in september. my boss has a whole year strategy planned out if it's successful. he's got the theme/topic for each issue all planned out! it's simply amazing. how much vision do you have in life? are you striving towards a certain goal or do you wander around aimlessly letting life pass you by? where do you want to be 2 months from now? 1 year from now? 5 years from now? let's take it a more meaningful level. where do you want to be in your relationship with God a few months from now? while i think it's important to have vision, we must always remember to keep things in perspective. when we look at things from the 'big picture', we'll for sure miss all the little things on the way. and we may, in fact, miss valuable opportunities and experiences that God wants us to have/go through.

work has been pretty good. i've started to engage in conversations with some of my co-workers and i've realized a lot of them go to church! i think the majority of my co-workers are Christians! who would have thought? :)