the new day

January 31, 2005

i am a morning person. i love waking up in the early morning. i love being able to greet the sun when it rises. i love seeing the way the morning rays reflect off the water (in the pool), the way it dazzles, jumps, and sparkles. i love watching the darkness creep away as the sun rises and takes it's prominent position in the sky. it's beautiful. but more than this, it's all because i love the new day. the new day has limitless possibilities, it is not defined by the previous day's events. no matter how dark or full of despair the previous day was, the new day brings hope. hope for change, hope for the impossible, hope for restoration, hope for anything and everything. it's mysterious too. you don't know what the new day will bring either. but that's the beauty of it, not knowing. that's where the excitement lies.

each day we live is a gift from God—a gift waiting to be unwrapped and marveled at. the new day signifies the holy privilege to join in the work of our Father. it's another opportunity to magnify and exalt Christ in all things, by edifying the body and to proclaim the indescribable and unfathomable love of the Holy Son of God to those who have not heard. it's another chance to stand in awe of Him, for all He has done and all He will do. the new day is full of potential divine moments where God is calling us out of the mediocrity and normalcy of life to join Him in doing something only He could do. the power of God is like a rushing wind: full on, at any moment. if we want to catch His wind, we must be prepared and ready. we must be on the lookout for it. if the new day is another day for us, for our selfish ambitions and desire, we'll miss it. but if it's another day for Him... who knows what could happen?

have there been moments in your life where the work of God is so evident that you wish you could freeze those moments in time and live in them forever? those moments where your heart is so fully alive that you can't contain yourself? i've had the privilege of experiencing a few of those. they've happened when i've stepped out in faith, when i've aligned my ways with His so that His Kingdom could advance. couldn't each day be like that?

our days are numbered. there are only so many of them that we have on this earth, and they are slowly ticking away. only God knows how many there are. i wonder. of the 8200 or so days i've lived on this planet, how many of them have been about me? and how many have been about Him? how many of them have been about things that were trivial? how many of them have been about things that really mattered? how many of them were for the Kingdom?

we have a choice. if we desire to glorify Him, we must to align ourselves with His purposes and His ways. we need to know that each new day, means one less day we have left on earth, one less day to live the life He created and intended us for on earth. how will you live the rest of your days?

"man's days are determined; You have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed" - job 14:5 [NIV]

outwardly wasting away

January 24, 2005

"therefore we do not lose heart. though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. for our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all" - 2 corinthians 4:16-17 [NIV]

oh if i could only be able to trust and believe in that everyday. the pains in my body are escalating. my left forearm and shoulder blade have been especially bad as of late (since the weekend), along with my neck and shoulders. while i thought the pains had subsided a little, it has once again reared its ugly head and it's not going to go away, despite my persistent, but feeble efforts to combat it. one of the most frustrating things about my condition, is that though i try everything i can possibly do to lessen the effects, they seem almost futile. i sleep early (between 10 - 11 pm) so i can get up every morning to head to the pool (anywhere between 6 - 7 am) because exercise is good for relaxing muscles. i head downtown to get trigger point injections at least once a month. i wear a magnetic bracelet. i sleep on a magnetic mattress. i take muscle relaxants daily, along with msm, shark cartilage, glucosamine, ester c and a multi-vitamin. and last term, i went to get acupressure regularly.

one thing i cannot fight is the forces of nature, the elements. i think this recent rise of pain is because of the cold spells we've been having in toronto. it also may be due to the high amounts of stress i'm experiencing; a very high possibility. my doctor on wednesday confirmed that fm patients are hypersensitive to cold. in fact, some fm patients can get chills simply by lifting up their sleeve. while i'm not that bad, the cold is still rocking me nonetheless, causing more pain than normal and a lot less energy.

chronic pain is very taxing on your spirits. if you've been having a lot of good days (good days, to me is defined as the pain in the body is almost non-existent), one bad day can be a real downer. there's always the hope that the pain will not come back. so if the pain suddenly gets worse, and remains, it's really tough. that's the thing with expectations, it sets you up for a big fall.

i've begun reading a book called "waking the dead" by john eldredge. it's all about reclaiming our hearts to be fully alive—a theme that's been resonating with me for the longest time, but especially over the past two months. i felt it'd be quite fitting to read the book, since all it had been doing was collecting a nice pile of dust on itself. john brings up a lot of interesting points in the book, things that i'm thinking a lot about nowadays. the biggest thing is probably this, "the glory of God is man fully alive." like wow. that boggles my mind. he also talks a lot about the current state of how we are. we've been lied to by the enemy and we've listened to those lies without knowing it. it's war. we're in a furious battle, one that will not end until Jesus returns. it's so easy to forget it, especially when our lives are going well, when the "sun is shining down on us."

i guess the positive thing about being in my situation, is that i rarely have these moments when life is just going well (yes, it sounds depressing, but that's the reality of it for me. life isn't "well" when you're in constant pain). thus, i'm not as prone to forgetting that the devil is throwing whatever he's got in his arsenal at me, to break me down and destroy me. that is what he's doing everyday to me. the thing with me though, is i'm a fighter. i fight for what i believe in, no matter what it takes. the more i realize how deceitful and destructive the devil is, the more i want to stand up and fight. it's war. i'm not about to let him win. he's not going to trample over me like he might on other people. not me. no way. i won't allow it. no matter how much i fall, how battered i become, how low i sink, i still fight.

i can't say that there aren't times when i want to throw in the towel, to just give it all up—my mind is still susceptible to the enemy's lies. but, the spirit in me will not give in. that's why i cling to Christ. He's the only one that can sustain and hold me. He's the only one that can renew me. He's the only one that understands what i face everyday (since no one knows what it's like to be in this body on a day-to-day basis). that gives me the hope and the motivation to press on—to be renewed inwardly every day, while my outward body wastes away. but it's still hard. though inwardly i'm renewed every day, my outward body is still wasting away. it really affects my inner spirits. the worst is when the pain is so great that i'm forced to stop activities to try and alleviate some of it (i.e. writing/using the computer/playing guitar). but in all of this, i guess the key is figuring out how to not let the outward body affect the inner spirit. maybe that's through constantly fixing our gaze on the author and perfecter of our faith, understanding who we are in Christ, understanding that every day is a gift from God, and understanding that we are loved, chosen, holy and His.

do not lose heart, o heart of mine.

"endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. for what son is not disciplined by his father? if you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. how much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." - hebrews 12:7-11 [NIV]

the principle of contrast

January 21, 2005

thought for the day: the principle of contrast. in order for differentiation to best occur between two objects/items/people, the largest possible contrast is required. in design, to create hierarchy in the piece, you use the principle of contrast. for example, just say you wanted to differentiate the importance in body text and headers. you'd do one of the following things: use a bigger type size for the header, or use a heavier weight (i.e. bold, black), or use a different typeface altogether.

God's strength is made perfect when we are weak (2 cor 12:9). have you ever wondered why that is so? i've been thinking about it since sunday and my explanation for it is this: the demonstration of His strength is most evident when we are the weakest. it's the principle of contrast! this dawned on me in the pool yesterday morning.

perhaps God allows us to sink into these abyss-like stages of life, so that when He shows up, we're floored by His awesome grace and power. we get to experience the fullness of who He is in our dark hour. maybe it's for our benefit after all? when we feel that we are strong, how can we see God's mighty hand? would we see just how powerful He is? there's very little contrast between strong and strongest. there's HUGE contrast between weakest and strongest though.

for most of us, we walk around life with our blinders on, caught up in all our own stuff, distracted by the many voices in this world and hardly ever listening for the still small voice of God. it may take something big, something huge to get our attention. humans best learn by experience. i don't think anyone would disagree with me on that. because God loves us, He does what's best for us. that means He also allows certain things to happen in our lives too. a good parent doesn't shelter their child from all the potentially harmful things in life. their child wouldn't learn anything like that. God, being the best parent in the universe doesn't do this either. if He did, we wouldn't learn anything in the process. thus, it's necessary for us to experience this principle of contrast at times.

one group of people that experience the fullness and richness of the mercy of God's love and forgiveness the most, are prisoners. in society's eyes, they are the most depraved, the most wicked, the most unlovable and unforgivable people. for them to learn of such an incredible truth and experience it personally is huge! could you imagine what it's like for them? it's the principle of contrast! the most depraved receiving the most grace (grace is always full on, so it's always the most. grace does not decrease in power/measure).

so what does this all mean? if you've been affected by the principle of contrasts in your life (and if you haven't you will), remember that the new day is coming. the sun will shine again. when you feel like you don't have the strength to go on, and when everything seems to be the lowest, remember that God's steadfast hand is right there. you will experience Him in all His fullness, mercy, grace and love. God is not out to make our life difficult, and He's certainly not out to abandon us. but He is calling you to a life that worships and glorifies Him. while that life may be hard, it's for the best because He knows what's best. He loves you. He sent His only Son for you.

therefore, i urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship" - romans 12:1 [NIV]

breathe on me now

January 19, 2005

monday morning, i awoke feeling extremely down and discouraged from the previous day's events. as i was swimming, i began pouring my heart out to God about everything i was feeling: about how low i was, about how i needed a touch from Him, about how i wanted Him to breathe His breath of life back into me, about how i wanted the joy of facing all these struggles. the night before, i was thinking and praying about 2 cor 12:9, about how God's strength is made perfect in weakness. i wanted to know how that worked, being in my circumstance and all.

the answer came to me when i hit the steam room and as i left the club to head home. back in november/december, while sitting in the steam room, i was reflecting on things, about my situation. and as i thought about it, God spoke to me. i don't know if you've ever been in a steam room before, but if you are sitting in there when the steam starts pouring out, it gets intense, really intense. in a brief matter of moments, the entire room is blanketed in so much steam, you can't see a thing. and it's hot. so hot, that it becomes difficult to breathe. you can try breathing through your nostrils, but it burns so much that you'll breathe through your mouth, which also burns. it becomes a preference of where you want the discomfort to be. in any case, if you decide that it is too much for you and you want to leave, you'd be hard-pressed to do so, since you cannot see a thing, and you wouldn't want to risk bumping into anything or even worse anyone (i sure don't want to walk into a naked guy sitting there *shudder*). simply put, you are stuck in there until the steam subsides. that's what's interesting about the steam room; the steam will subside eventually and you will once again be able to see.

there's a lot of truth that one can extract from this phenomena. what God was saying that morning to me, was that though it was so hard to deal with everything i had been going through, that it would eventually subside like the steam. at times it was extremely hard to breathe. i found myself gasping for air almost on a continual basis, struggling, fighting to stay alive, to stay faithful to my God, to not abandon the One who i simply could not abandon after all i had been through and after all He had been through for me. i wondered how long i'd have to be in my situation. BUT, i wasn't going to be in my situation forever; things were going to turn around, there WOULD be a brighter day. all i had to do was press on and remain faithful through it. the steam WOULD subside. this analogy has stuck with me ever since that day. some days i'm more aware of this than others (when i sit in there).

on monday, it hit me again and the timing couldn't have been more perfect. with a renewed vision and perspective, things were once again looking up. the mercy of God began pouring down on me as i left the club. as i walked out through the club doors to my car, a brilliant and radiant early morning sun was there to greet me. in the foreground, stood several trees on a snowy landscape. the contrast between the two were huge. in the background, there was the magnificent, colourful sun, full of life and energy and in the foreground, colourless, lifeless trees. what was more interesting, was the fact that the trees were in the pathway of the sunlight, creating an almost halo effect around the branches. words really fail me here. that imagery resonated with me. i was the tree, and God was the sun. i had been standing lifeless, until God rose and breathed life back into me. it was beautiful. i was feeling more alive than i have been in a long time.

when i started driving home, the song "breathe on me now" by kathryn scott began playing. the words were perfect. it really expressed my heart, so i made it my prayer as i drove home.

when my soul has cried it's tears
and my heart begins to faint
will You draw near?
will You meet with me?
when my days are filled with longing
and my spirit groans and waits
will You draw near?
will You meet with me?

i'm calling and waiting
Your presence Lord is life to me

breathe on me now as i bow down
i'm desperate Lord for more of You
come satisfy until i
am even more in need of You

when my dreams have been forgotten
and my hope begins to fade
will You draw near?
will You meet with me?
when my days are filled with searching
and my strength has given way
will You draw near?
will You meet with me?

the timing was perfect, just like everything else that morning. God has perfect timing. precisely at the right time, in the right way, when i was feeling the lowest, when my heart was in so much despair, when i was just about to throw in the towel, He showed up. His strength was made perfect in my weakness as His mercy and love came poured down into all my brokenness.

thank you si, camilla for your prayers and your continued support and encouragement. you have no idea how much it means to me.

"i love the LORD, for He heard my voice; He heard my cry for mercy. because He turned His ear to me, i will call on Him as long as I live" psalm 116:1-2 [NIV]

amen.

gone in a matter of moments

January 16, 2005

the phone rings. my mom calls from home and to my horror, i learn that my dad decided to clean up all of eric's boxes in the basement. what was even worse, was he had already done it. there was nothing i could say or do, to somehow stop this complete rampage. of all the things he could have cleaned, why did it have to be this? why? i had been very explicit about eric's stuff. i would take care of it when i had the time.

maybe i've put off clearing up his stuff for a little too long, but what do you want me to do? he was my brother. there's no way i could have ever or will ever let go of him. and sure there's no point in keeping the stuff down there, but nonetheless. perhaps i'm still trying to hold on or cling to what was? i mean i still do have his stuffed animals in my room and every time people come over to the house for the first time, there's always questions as to why i have two pooh bears, two eeyores and two snuffs in there. one set of them were my eric's and one were mine. we used to play with them, "pretend," that wildly exciting thing that kids did with their stuffed animals and their imaginations. story lines would develop, characters would form, the possibilities were endless so long as your imagination kept up. we continued on this childhood activity all the way up until he left. maybe there's something wrong with a 23 and a 21 year old playing with their stuffed animals, but it was our bonding time. that's what we did when we were kids, and that's what we did when we got older. those were good memories i have of him and i will not, i refuse to let them go. i'll probably keep all those stuffed animals for years to come, if not indefinitely. eric loved his pooh bear. pooh went wherever he went. he hugged him all the time too: when he was sleeping, when he was at the computer, when he read, or when he was sad. i guess it's through his pooh bear, that i can relive those memories. it's almost as if he was still here... perhaps that's my way of coping still.

i dreaded coming home tonight in fear of what i might see since i knew what had happened. when i walked in the house, i walked straight upstairs, avoiding the basement altogether. but i had to see what my dad did. and so slowly, i got the courage to look. i got my flashlight and headed downstairs. and it was exactly how my mom described. the basement was in a complete and utter mess; boxes everywhere. the once neat and tidy basement was overturned in a matter of moments. all of eric's boxes were scattered everywhere, some opened, some not. i briefly went down to salvage some of the remains, but how do i know if there were other things thrown away, etc.? i don't. what used to be a neat stack of eric's boxes turned into a whirlwind of mess.

in addition to all this, my mom had to go to emerg on thursday because she was having a lot of stomach pains. i spent the entire day worrying about her. i'm not very good about this medical stuff, but going to emerg is never a good thing. and there's always possibilities that things could go wrong if surgery happens... i didn't know how to reach my mom cuz her cell phone was off, so i was pretty much left in the dark until she would call. but she only called like once or twice. my mom stayed over at the hospital both thursday and friday night. i went to see her friday morning. there's too many unpleasant memories at that hospital for me so it was really hard being back there, especially because this time my mom was in the bed. i love my mom. she's like one of my best friends. so if anything were to happen to her, i don't know what i do. fortunately, friday night, my mom calls me to tell me that the antibiotics seemed to be working according to the surgeon, and that she wouldn't need to have surgery. though the doctors still need to do some tests and stuff. she was dispatched yesterday morning.

my heart can't take much more of this. i'm only human. i wonder sometimes if i'll just eventually breakdown and crash. my body already has begun, seen through all the multitudes of sickness i've been inflicted with in these past few months. it's only my mind, my spirit, my will, my faith that persists, that hangs on. but even that is wearing thin. there's only so much a person can take, that i can take. the good news, however, in spite of all this, is that while i'm so weak, God is not. His grace is sufficient and His power is made perfect in weakness, in my weakness (see 2 corinthians 12:9).

but like i've said many times before, i simply cannot wait for heaven. it might be weird to desire heaven at such a young age, but let me tell you, that is where it's at. there's no more of this pain, suffering, injustice, cruelty, etc, that we see in this forsaken world up there. it's going to be awesome. i'm good to go anytime, but as long as God has me here on earth, i want to obediently follow Him in whatever He calls me to do.

alive?

January 14, 2005

there was a scene in pixar's incredibles that has stayed with me ever since i watched it (back in december). the main character, mr. incredible, a character with super natural powers was forced to live a life of mediocrity early on in the movie, forced to hide his true identity from the world. he had to restrain himself from using his powers, and live life as every other human being. there were numerous scenes showing him working at the office, bored completely out of his mind. there were other scenes showing how badly he wanted to reconnect with who he was; a superhero. totally understandable. how do you go from superhero to office clerk, especially when you were created for so much more?

something about that scene really resonated with me, as if it were my life being shown on the screen. sometimes i feel like i'm not really living, like i'm just going through the motions of life, occupied with the trivial things of this world that do not matter. i'm bored silly, out of my mind really. is there any end to this seemingly unending rut?

i'm a Christian, yet the live i live is nowhere near as exciting as i feel it should be or could potentially be. the Christian life should be full of excitement, shouldn't it? i think back to lives that the disciples lead. now that's exciting stuff. they got to see the miraculous hand of Jesus, the wonder of His transforming power all first hand. i think back to the crazy adventures of people like daniel, moses, peter and even paul. there wasn't anything special about these guys. they were just as average as you or i, but they understood something that perhaps we don't, or at least i don't.

i cannot accept that the Christian life is meant to be lived the way i live it now. dull and boring. sure, there are moments when life is so full and rich, but they are but a small whisper. more often than not, it's back to the same ol' routine. but God created us for so much more than the mundane...

when you're adopted into a family, you are given all the rights that every family member has. we were adopted into the Kingdom through the blood of Christ. meaning, we've inherited everything, all the rights and privileges in being a son and daughter of God. we live with the power and authority of Christ in us. the Holy Spirit also dwells in us. so how is that life can still be so mundane? how is that my life is so mundane? is it the result of our engagement of the world's activities that makes us forget? i think that's a very likely explanation.

i think back to a question that i still cannot fully answer: what makes you come alive? in my investigation of the passions that God has given me, i find that i am most alive when i connect with others (building, listening, encouraging, edifying them) and when i'm serving in ministry (worship, creative arts etc.). everything else pales. i get excited thinking about the possibilities of what could be. i get excited about seeing the arts developing in the church. i guess what i'm really saying is that i come alive when i engage in activities that align with my passion. anything else to me seems trivial and uncircumstantial. like a chasing after the wind.

realitically speaking though, there are things in life that you'll encounter that you aren't passionate about, but still have a responsibility/obligation for (unfortunately for some people, this is their vocation). for me, it's school. my current undergrad is an ends to a means, i need an undergraduate degree in order to head into seminary. design just doesn't do it for me. maybe it's being in this program that i've disliked for four years that has taken it's toll on my alive quotient. mind you, i've tried my best to obediently obey God's call in remaining in this program (by doing my absolute best, and striving for excellence). it hasn't all been negative though; i have found a lot of joy in the relationships i've fostered with my classmates. i've also learnt many things about myself through this journey too. God knows a lot better than we do, for even though i did not like this program, in retrospect, there is no other program that i would have rather been in (what a paradox). or maybe it's the fact that i'm so close to graduation now, that i just want to "get it over with"? in any case, i think i'm ready to move on from this and do things that i'm really passionate about.

later on in the movie, mr. incredible gets the opportunity to be himself again, a superhero. he no longer had to deny who he was. that's when we as the viewers get to see him really thrive and really living. can you see the parallel? if we want to really live, we cannot deny who we are. we were created to be fully alive in Christ. we were created to worship and adore Him. we are made new. we are chosen. we are fearfully and wonderfully made. we are completely forgiven. we are the sons and daughters of God. we are no longer sinners, but saints.

what makes YOU come alive?

praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. for he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. in love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will–to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. in him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. and he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ" - ephesians 1:3-9 [NIV]

amazed

January 10, 2005

here's the finalized version of that 'music video' i was working on, finished christmas day, 2004. project time was off and on, but i'd say about a week to do it with learning how to use apple motion. the song is called "amazed" by jared anderson. the first time i heard it, i absolutely adored it. it's super simple, but like so many things in life, beauty is in simplicity. the link is here:

http://www.pixelsparks.com/dropbox/amazed_web.mov

you can simply click the link and it will stream from the server. if you'd like to download it to your computer, right click the link, and go to "save target as" or "download linked file." be warned, the file is large, about 27 MB. you'll need quicktime to play the file.

things do get a little repetitive, but it's my first shot at a project like this. let me know what you think!

deserving?

January 9, 2005

what do you deserve? what are you entitled to? make a list and be brutally honest.

a lot of us think we're entitled to/deserve a lot of things in life: health, food, shelter, clothing, education, family, friends, work, the list could go on and on. when these things are taken away from us, we are shocked and perhaps even angry. we wonder, we question. we raise our hands up and ask our God, "why me? how could this be love?"

can i suggest to you that we don't deserve anything in this life but death and punishment? everything else we receive is grace. that means things like our health, our food, our clothing, our shelter, etc is grace. this is not an easy concept to grasp. i don't think i've fully taken hold of all the implications, but i've got a pretty good idea coming from the position i'm in. having so many sicknesses and trials at the age of 21/22 is not easy. sometimes it feels like i've been 'robbed' of my life so early on, that i've been 'cut down' before i've even begun. but if i dwell on that, i allow myself to arrogantly think i'm somehow deserving of something i do not deserve. why do i deserve being healthy more than the next guy? just because i'm young? what about those babies born with defects, whether physical or mental?

in our individualistic, western society, our all about me society, this mentality is too easily adopted and believed. there are people that don't even realize that's the mentality they hold. whenever i hear people talk about making sacrifices for God, i always find it strange. i remember olive talked about the concept of sacrifice after she returned from her first trip to the orient. there was a song she loved called "no sacrifice" by jason upton. she was saying that it's not a sacrifice to give things up in our life for God, because we are exchanging those things for something much better. that's always stuck with me.

i'd like to take it in a different direction. it's not a sacrifice to give things up for God, beause we've been given this life, this awesome privilege of existing on this planet for the purpose of glorifying and worshipping God. God created, molded, formed us together for His purposes. He was the one who breathed the breath of life into us, not us. how is it then, that we think our lives belong to us? that we're somehow entitled to so many things in life? when we say we're making a sacrifice for God, what we're really saying is that we're giving up something we're entitled to for Him. as if it was some kind of big deal. and as if we were in fact entitled to it. it's even more appalling to me, that we as a people are taken aback by people who "sacrifice" their lives for God. we think of them as inspirational, as Christian "heroes." maybe because so many people in the world wouldn't be able to do the same. case in point, if you were studying in university and you knew God was calling you to drop everything and do full-time missions instead, how many of us would struggle with it? if you did do it, wouldn't you think it's such a big sacrifice on your part? and how many people knowing that you did that would think it's such a big sacrifice too?

this life that has been entrusted to us is NOT ours. jeremiah had it right when he said, "i know, O LORD, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps" (jeremiah 10:23 [NIV]). if God is calling us to give up something to Him, it is not sacrifice. it is an action that allows us to move closer to the purpose that God has called us to. and like what olive said, we really are exchanging what we have now for something even greater.

remember, we only deserve death and punishment. it was only by His unfathomable love that He spared us. God spared us from what we deserved.

i don't think anyone minds that we get grace. when you're spared from something you didn't deserve, i don't see many people running up and trying to stop it. just say you were speeding, and you got caught doing 40 over the limit and the cop suddenly decides to give you a warning instead. would you refute him and ask him to pay the ticket and get the points? i don't think so. so if we can so easily readily accept grace, why is that we have hard times giving up the things we don't deserve?

there's an simple answer to that. we think we deserve them. we need to radically shift our perspective and remember two things:
1) that everything we have is by the grace of God (translation: it's much easier to give up something you think you don't deserve than something you do deserve) and
2) our lives are not our own.

if we can wrap our hearts around that, i think we'd be able to follow our Lord a lot easier. our lives would be about Him and not us. and instead of sacrifice, it would be joy that fuels us to partner with Him to became an instrument for His glorification. it wouldn't be some big deal for us to give up something for Him. dealing with the harships in life would be easier too. that's not to say that it won't be hard, because it is, trust me. but at the end of day, we'll remember that this life we live is all about God, not us. so whatever may happen, if the glorification of God happens through it, then its worth it, no matter the cost.

"i want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death" - phillipians 3:10 [NIV]