new season

February 24, 2006

new: different from the former or the old, changed for the better; rejuvenated (dictionary.com)

two months ago, we entered into the new year. some people make a big deal about the new year. they make resolutions, set goals, dream big and anticipate the future. i'm not that type. i don't make resolutions nor do i have any expectations. to me, the new year is much like any other day in the year. all that changes is one number.

yet, without me realizing it, things did change. i can't pinpoint what caused it, but things have been different, very different. it's like my entire life has been given fresh perspective and energy, in the area of my health, school and church.

my health
early in january, my neck was in a lot of pain. the muscles were really tight and i could barely move it. prior to that, i had become sick. what i've noticed over the course of the last two years, is that my health seems to go in pairs. it would always be something with my fm and another sickness coupled with it. when it happened, i'd always feel really low. questions would surface. my emotions would be all over the place. i'd think to myself "woe is me, why this again? why me? why can't i ever be healed from my fm and just live a normal life?"

but this time, i didn't think that at all. instead, i knew that the pain was a result of my fm and that it would be better the next day. my train of thought was: "yeah it sucks, but it'll be better tomorrow." the funny thing is, i've known this for a long time. i know that the pain is a result of the muscles being tight. yet, i never incorporated this knowledge into my life. i was very surprised to have such a positive outlook/perspective in this instant.

school
when was the last time you got excited to do school work? at the beginning of the term, i found myself very excited for some of the assignments that i was going to do. the courses looked to have some really good material and it was material i was very interested in. i'm taking three very interesting classes: spiritual formation, leadership in youth ministry and biblical interpretation. the assignments are super practical.

church
i stepped into a new role in 2006. we revamped some of the structuring for our english ministry. i became the head of our creative team department. i became the person in charge of planning and arranging the creative material that happened in our services (with my team of course). i was extremely excited for the possibilities that could come in 2006 and all that God would do through these creative services.

other
we also started up our men's group in 2006. jon and i had been planning to do it ever since september, but things didn't work out. things have been going great so far. we've been able to establish a deep level of trust much sooner than i anticipated. i'm looking forward to growing together with these guys in the time to come.

at our first men's group meeting, jon asked us to describe where we are in life at the present moment. i was sharing with them all the things i mentioned above. jon said something that struck me. he was like, leo, i haven't heard you this excited in a long time! i thought about that for a while and i realized how true his statement was.

for the past three years, my life has been marked by pain, suffering, trials, hardship. job has been my Biblical character that i sought wisdom from through these years. i have often wondered when my life would turn around, the way his did at the end of his book. i somehow always imagined that my turn around would be getting healed from my fibromyalgia. i never thought it could be something else, nor did i ever expect it. yet, without my knowing it, a new season had come.

on the drive home that night, i turned up "new season" by israel houghton LOUD. it totally expressed what was in my heart.

[chorus]
it's a new season
it's a new day
fresh anointing is comin' my way
it's a season of power
and prosperity
it's a new season
coming to me

the devil's time is up
no longer can He bother me
cuz the Creator of the universe He fathers me
and it's transferable
my children's children's shalll be free
it's a new season

if you don't know but now
you need to know it's jubillee
but debts are cancelled
and your children walk in victory
it's unavailable to you and me
but i'll just taste and see
it's a new season

the new millennium presents a new horizon
no greater time for us to make a choice and take a stand
all that we need is restin in His hands
it's a new season

all that was stolen is returned to you
a hundred fold
tried in the fire
but you're coming out gold

uncovered

February 8, 2006

my last vocal lesson of 2005 was not with my regular vocal teacher. it was with her husband. i was eagerly anticipating the lesson because initially, i had wanted a male teacher (i figured working with a male would be easier and make more sense, but i couldn't find a teacher so i ended up going with a female teacher). i got there and met her husband. immediately, i noticed his teaching style was quite different from his wife's, but i had no issues with that. we talked for a bit and then started with the normal vocal warmups i was used to doing.

but something happened that day. he made a comment about the way i was singing. it was what i expected. over the past few months, i realized that i had a tendency to expel way too much air, resulting in a very light and breathy sound. i thought it was just a problem i had to deal with and get over eventually. he proceeded to imitate what i did and showed me that i didn't have to do that. he simply suggested to me that i open up my jaw more. that's all it took.

i was shocked! i couldn't believe my own ears. was that really my voice? where was the volume and power coming from? i sat down for a while, dumbfounded at what just happened. my teacher could tell how taken aback i was. he made a comment about how it happens to a lot of people when that moment of realization happens. the funny thing is, while my intention of taking vocal lessons was to uncover my true voice, i never had any picture of what it would be like.

after my lesson, i was thinking about what had happened. i believe there was a time where i had that same sort of voice, but i always thought it was me just messing around. i never thought that to be my true voice. i think what happened over time, was that i developped a mental picture of what a good voice should sound like. as i grew up, i began to emulate that sound because it was all i heard. so when i messed around, i never once thought that could be my natural voice. it sounded far too different and foreign from the majority. over time, this fake voice of mine became what i thought to be my natural voice.

i think the same thing happens to Christians. it's so easy for the Christian life to become a shadow of the real thing.
whether we like it or not, our culture has a huge influence on us. for the most part, we are unaware of it's messages, it's values, and it's ethics because we are simply too close to it. little by little, we become more and more conformed to the world. the church is in no way exempt from this. messages of individualism and consumerism permeate into our faith. without realizing it, we start buying into the lies of the world.

i think the heart of this problem is our concept of individualism. our lives become me-centric. it becomes about my goals, my dreams, my aspirations, my stuff, my plans, my everything. individualism makes being a Christian very difficult, because it creates a tension between God's plans and mine. we see our lives as being ours, not something entrusted to us by God. Christianity can become self-serving. people pray for their own prosperity and success. they believe that because they've accepted Christ, everything in life will be smooth sailing. they believe that will be financially blessed by God. do you see the problem? life becomes all about US.

we need to see culture's influence on the church for what it is. we need to start asking hard questions about why we do the things we do. we also need to examine our thoughts, values and ethics. are they biblical? or are they a result of the culture around us? are we merely copying/imitating what we see? it's possible that the Christian life we are living now is just a shadow of the real thing. maybe we're simply going through the motions of what could truly be transforming.

my point is this: far too many Christians are not truly living the Christian life in all its richness and fullness. they haven't uncovered what Christianity is really about. if we look around us, we see many Christians that are mediocre, defeated, jaded, cynical, religious, materialistic, vengeful, destructive, selfish, apathetic, unloving, hypocritical, holier-than-thou... you get the point. yes, sin and spiritual warfare are significant factors, but we need to understand that there is so much more to our lives that we could ever dream of. wouldn't it be a thing of beauty of Christians were living the life they were meant to live, the way God intended it to be? if the church was thriving like it did in the acts 2?

i am not going to post any answers to these questions, but instead, suggest that it be something you think and reflect on. the answers are all throughout Scriptures. i'm still learning about who i am and i'm far from being able to answers these questions to such an extent that it influences my thoughts, my words and my actions. but, i know that when i am able to do so, i will have a much better picture of who God created me to be and that this life would take on a whole new perspective.