submission

April 28, 2006

on tuesday, i headed to the pool right before lunchtime. i like swimming at that time because a lot of random people come, mostly kids and parents. as i've said before, i love observing the interaction between kids and parents. the only downside with the time is the busyness of the pool. sometimes it can get really crowded. tuesday was one of those days. in fact, i've never seen the pool so busy.

initially, there were three people in the pool. two were swimming in the assigned lanes and i was swimming in the open area (the open area consists of three unassigned lanes). i will always swim alongside the pool wall if it's free (and it was free). then, two ladies entered the open area. instead of occupying the two free lanes, they decide to occupy the one closest to the wall (the one i was in) and the one in the middle. i figured they would move out of the way as i swam towards them, since i was there first. i thought wrong. i had to move to avoid the two women. instead of making a big fuss out of it, i decided to swim in the third lane, closest to the two assigned lanes. it was fine for a while, until another man entered the open area. he decided that he liked the lane i was swimming in and occupied it. i got pushed out again. instead of making a big fuss out of it, i figure i could "create" a hybrid fourth lane since the two ladies weren't really swimming. enter another lady. now there were five people in the open area. it was getting really crowded.

the two ladies didn't really stay in the two lanes. they'd move about the pool, causing me and the other lady to swim around them. it was quite a nuisance. at one point, there were taking so much space, i was swimming directly behind the man, trying to keep a good distance so i wouldn't get kicked in the face. i figured when he turned around, he would swim to avoid me. not a chance. it was like a game of chicken, except we were swimming. i was the one who had to swerve to avoid or else a collision would have occurred.

i found it interesting that of the five people in the people, only two people were willing to accommodate for the others (me and the lady). the other three kept on doing whatever they were doing, not ever considering the others around them. plus the fact that they kicked me out of my swimming spots!

the pool situation reminded me of submission and the church. there are people in our churches like the man and two ladies. these people have no concept of submission. they do not listen to anyone except for themselves. they do what they please and ignore others. they are self-serving, self-seeking. they do only what interests them. but there are also people in the church like the woman and me (though i cannot say i am always like this. and to be perfectly honest, it probably is not me most of the time). we understand that we need to work with other people. we realize that we need to be open-minded and listen to other opinions and perspectives. we realize that sometimes we need to submit our own desires and will in order to make things work with others.

i wonder. how often do we make a big deal in church about things that simply are about us. we raise controversy over something because we don't like it or because it's not done in the way we want. we make church about our own needs and wants rather than making it about others. we don't stop to think how our actions may influence other people. case in point. during our morning worship times, we do not have any lights on in the gym. the rationale behind this is that it helps create a more freeing atmosphere for congregants. when the lights are off, people are less self-conscious about themselves. this allows them to engage God more freely, by raising their hands, clapping, sitting, standing, kneeling and/or dancing. having the lights on full creates more self-awareness and more self-identification. not only are you aware of your self, but so are others. at one of our sunday school meetings, we were informed that we were getting complaints about the lights being too dim. parents were complaining that their kids were falling asleep because of the lights. they wanted the lights to be brighter. as i listened to this, i wondered about their request. maybe their kids were falling asleep for another reason. maybe they simply didn't care or they liked to stay up late saturday nights playing games. i said we could try it and see if there was a difference. but i also suggested that we also note the response of the rest of the people. would other people be affected by the change in lighting? would other people become more self-conscious in worship and less free to engage in God when the lights were back on?

the church is full of complainers. i used to be one of them (i believe that i've progressed from this, but i'm not perfect). i was notorious for complaining. i complained about everything and anything. i wanted things to be done my way, to suit my personal tastes and preferences. the problem with complainers is this: they complain often and they complain loudly. complainers do not go away. they want to see change happen in their favour. as time passes, people may start to listen. leaders need to rise up against this. we're far too accommodating, far too nice sometimes to these people because we don't want to offend them or make them upset.

we need to remind ourselves about submission. we need to remind ourselves that church is not about meeting our personal tastes and preferences. sometimes we are so caught up with our own selves that we are unwilling to see the good that can come if we submitted our preferences. what if those things we did not like were in fact benefiting the church and because of our complaining, they ceased to exist? what a grave disservice we would do to the body of Christ. Christ's death on the cross was the ultimate act of submission. in the garden of gesthemane, we see His desperate pleas to the Father to remove the bitter cup. yet, He was still able to say "not my will, but Yours." He sets the example by which we ought to live.

the church is not about pushing our own agendas and preferences. it is about coming together, as the body of Christ, to further the kingdom of God. this can only happen when we learn to work together, to submit to one another out of love and respect.

in the hands of the Potter

April 23, 2006

as i sat in the barbershop last friday, i was reminded of jeremiah 18—the potter and the clay.

my stylist was kind enough to schedule my appointment at 8:30 am, before the shop actually opened. there were only four of us inside, two stylists and two customers. in the eight or so years i have been in that place, it has never been that quiet. normally, it's busy with activity. customers come in and out of the shop and several stylists work at once. conversations, ringing telephones, shavers, fill the room with a lot of noise.

i was delighted at the stillness of it. i have come to love silence and stillness over the past few months. i've grown to love the beauty of sound. that morning, i could hear everything with pristine clarity—the whirl of the shavers, the snipping from the scissors, the clip-clops from my stylists' shoes as he moved about. it was beautiful. i loved it so much, a smile began to emerge on my face. i was that delighted with those sounds!

i wonder how many wonderful sounds i miss/have missed because of noise. how often do we miss these beautiful sounds (like the sweet song of a bird in the morning) because of excessive noise? how often do we miss the soft whispers of God because of the noise in our minds and hearts and the noise around us?

as i watched my stylist cut my hair, i began to think about jeremiah 18. God, the Potter and we, the clay. my stylist had something great in mind when he cut my hair. he knew exactly what it would look like after he was finished and he knew exactly how to get it there. he knew when to use the scissors, when to use the shavers, when to use the different shaver blades. he knew what to cut, what to shave, what to leave alone. in short, he knew everything. all i had to do was sit in the chair and trust him to do what he intended to do.

God has something beautiful in mind when He looks at each and everyone of us. He has a purpose in store for us. He knows what type of pottery we will become, our size, shape, colour and function. He knows all these things. as the clay, all we need to do is remain on the pottery wheel and let the Potter do what He pleases. though, it's not easy. we have to remain patient. we have to allow ourselves to be pushed in ways we may not like. it calls for an act of submission, obedience and trust. it goes against everything our western cultures tells us to do—be an individual, achieve your goals and dreams, submit to no one, do whatever you want. but if we desire to become the person God created us to be, we must remain on the pottery wheel. only the Potter knows how to shape the clay. the clay has no idea what it is meant to do. at best, it can only make small guesses and try to figure out what it's made for. we will never become the person we were meant to be on our own. we are simply too ignorant, too small, too selfish and self-centred to know what to do.

our purpose in life is so simple. we were made to be in relation with God. we were made to worship Him. He will take care of everything else. He will direct our paths. God initiates everything. all we need to do is allow Him to do the work He has begun in each of us. all we need to do is sit on the chair. and as we sit, as we observe what He is doing in our midst, we will see the beautiful work He has in mind for our lives.

wanted: spiritual fitness program

April 16, 2006

when i was at the club the other day, i noticed a new poster hanging in the locker room. it was an ad for a new fitness program. the ad contained a familiar phrase a recent tv commercial uses, "side effects may include: increased energy, higher self-esteem, less stress..." i looked at it and grinned.

i left the club, wondering why our culture places such a huge emphasis on physical fitness. when i arrived home, i turned the tv on briefly. it was the oprah show and they were talking about health and fitness.

our culture talks so much about the benefits of physical fitness and the importance of it. we all know a healthy body leads to many positive things. some are better than others in this, but it's all a matter of discipline. they maintain a strict diet (this could be eating healthy foods or actually dieting) and/or practice a regular exercise regime. the people who do this realize the benefits far outweigh the "costs" (time, energy).

knowing all this, most of us believe a healthy life develops from regular exercise and a proper diet. i'm sure most of us have spent/currently spend a considerable amount of time on either one of these. so what am i getting at? human beings are much more complex than just our physical being. we also have a spiritual dimension. now before proceeding further, i must say this: i don't like to separate these two dimensions, because they are inter-related. but, for the sake of this post, i will use this dichotomy.

we need to wake up to the fact that healthy living includes nurturing our spiritual dimension. if we neglect it, we are not living fully. sadly, i think this is true for many of us. devotions, prayer, meditation, silence, solitude, rest, Sabbath, Scripture reading, all these things get pushed aside for other things in our lives. most of us say we don't have time or we're too tired for it. but if we saw it as life-giving, as something we had to do (like physical exercise and proper eating), there would be profound change not only in our own lives, but also in the world. i believe as we grow in our relationship with God, it affects those around us, because we become more like Him. i wonder what the world would look like, if all Christ-followers took to heart the importance of their own spiritual fitness the same way our culture embraces physical fitness and well-being. what would the world look like, if we all took seriously our faith? if we decided to really chase God above all things in life? if we decided to make establishing His Kingdom on earth the desire of our hearts? if we decided to love God above all?

culture will never tell us the importance of these things. in fact, they will tell us how unimportant they are. but if we are serious and committed to our God, we must intentionally give our lives to what truly matters in life. physical fitness programs are great, but we also need a regular spiritual fitness program too.

so in the spirit of exercise adverts, here's my spiritual advert:

program: a daily spiritual fitness routine, developing your relationship with Almighty God. a sample of activities: include prayer, meditation, silence, rest, Scripture reading, solitude, Sabbath, fasting. these activities will assist you in knowing God more deeply and more intimately, allowing you to experience more of who He is. activity length depends on you, at your discretion. it can range from five minutes to a full-day session.

potential side-effects: a complete life, lacking nothing, security in Christ, freedom from bondage and condemnation, abundance of love, overflowing in joy, peace in all circumstances, Christ-like character, hope in the present and the future, thankfulness.

a beautiful expression of faith

April 12, 2006

as i was doing my cool down routine in the pool on friday, a mother and her young son entered the room. i immediately took notice of the two (maybe because i love observing how children interact with their parents). this little boy could not have been older than five years old. he was wearing a set of swimming aids across his biceps. he kept talking to his mother as he stared at the pool. at first, i couldn't make it out. i was too far away to hear the entirety of their conversations.

i didn't understand what he was doing at first. he would dip his feet in the water, climb down the ladder partially and come right back up. then he would chat with his mom for a bit and repeat the process. soon, i came to realize this little boy was afraid. he had no idea how deep the water was and it seemed to me, he had either never swam before or he had very little experience. as i focused my attention on the two, i heard the boy ask his mom whether or not he should fully submerge himself. she assured him that everything would be okay, "i'm right here" she said (the mother was sitting on one of the chairs beside the pool). he looked at her intently. her loving gaze assured him that everything would be alright. her words soothed all his fears.

the boy approached the ladder again. as he began the decent, his eyes were fixed on his mother. he dipped his feet into the water and slowly but surely, moved down the ladder, step, by, step. for you who have never been to this pool, you should know that the ladder does not go all the way to the bottom. there is a certain distance between the last step and the bottom of the pool. when he finally reached the bottom, he hesitated for a brief moment. then, he made the jump. can you imagine what might have gone through his mind as he did this? remember, he had NO idea how deep the pool was, plus he had little to no experience swimming.

the next moment was so precious. the little boy was ecstatic! "mom! i'm swimming!!!" he exclaimed in delight. in that moment, his fears were completely replaced with incredible joy. joy lit up his face as he began to move about the pool.

what a beautiful expression of faith. faith is looking to God and trusting him, in spite of our great fears and uncertainties. faith gives us the courage to step forward, when nothing makes sense to us. faith allows us to glimpse the power of God at work in our lives.

i was reminded of my journey of faith as i headed off to CTI two summers ago. i was unsure if i was to still go because of my health complications. despite all my fears and uncertainty about my health deteriorating for the worst and causing permanent damage, i went anyways. i knew God was still calling me. looking into His eyes, He reassured me that everything would be alright. that gave me the courage to pack my bags, head to the airport and board the plane. i was scared about what lay ahead of me, but i trusted Him. the result? incredible joy and delight in God. i learnt so much and experienced so much that summer. those memories will be with me forever.

faith may seem very abstract to many of us, but the reality is, it's not overly complicated. faith simply requires us to put our full trust in God. like the little boy, we look at God with His reassuring eyes and rest in the knowledge that everything will be okay. this gives us the courage we need to step down any ladder we may encounter in life and allow us to jump off the last step to the bottom. when we get there, we will see the beauty of it. it may not be immediate, however, but in time, it will happen. we will experience the joy and delight of stepping out in faith and trusting God.

"faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" - hebrews 11:1 [NIV]

birthdays

April 7, 2006

today marks the day that i become older than my older brother eric. he was 23 when he passed away. today i am 24. i can't help but feel strange and peculiar about that.

his birthday recently passed. i wasn't even aware that it was march 29th until i wrote down the date on a handout in class. "oh... today would have been his birthday" i thought to myself. in prior years, i was very aware of what the date was. i knew his birthday would be coming up and i knew how hard it would be to deal with that. this year, busyness has kept my mind occupied with many things. busyness has a way of keeping our minds from thinking about certain things, especially the painful things. these past few weeks have been highly intensified with many assignments and readings to complete. i find when i focus my attention on school, i lose track of what day it is for i live assignment to assignment.

physically writing down march 29th on my page caught me off guard. a ton of thoughts swirled through my head in that brief moment, only to dissipate as i focused my attention back on the lecturer. almost three years have passed now since his death. even now, it still seems so surreal to me—like a bad dream i can't wake up from.

there are sporadic moments, when a flood of emotions surge in me, causing me to stop whatever i am doing and acknowledge what is going on. those moments, are triggered by something that reminds me of eric, a visual, a word, a smell, anything. today is one of those days. i went to breakfast with my dad this morning. on the way down, we passed by the funeral home where we held eric's service. thoughts, emotions raced through my mind. we are taught, in this culture, to push those thoughts and feelings aside. i think it's important to relive these moments, no matter how difficult it is. reliving the moments helps us remember. maybe some people don't want to remember, i do. i never want to forget. eric will always be a part of my memories, part of my heart, part of who i am. i rarely think about as much nowadays, but i suppose that's part of the process. his pooh bear still sits on my bed and every time i look at it, i'm always reminded of my brother.

earlier this week, i talked to my friend loretta. she was very close to my brother and she is never afraid of bringing him up in our conversations. i really appreciate that about her. it's very rare for that to happen. and though, it is uncomfortable and even painful to answer sometimes, i think it's wonderful. loretta was telling me how living in vancouver reminds her of my brother. she told me how if he were to still be alive, how he'd probably be chilling on her couch everyday. i agreed with that. eric adored vancouver and if he were to be chilling anywhere, it would definitely be at loretta's place. she too, was reminded of his birthday that just past. and when she thought of his birthday, she thought of my family. so, she gave us a call on tuesday. loretta is definitely one of my favourite people.

yesterday, i was thinking about birthdays. in our celebration, our attention is focused solely on the birthday boy/girl. this is natural and even expected. but i wonder. i wonder how much attention we should be giving to the individual in comparison to the ones who gave that individual life; by this, i mean God and the individual's parents. if we are celebrating life, should we not also celebrate the source of life? it is only through the source of life that the individual has life in the first place!

while i never make much of my own birthday (all i like to do is have a nice meal with my friends and family), i have new perspective on it this year. this morning, i decided i wanted to make my birthday about the source of life, and not about me. my parents wished me a happy birthday this morning. my dad, spontaneously decided we should go for breakfast. my mom already ate, so she said she'd meet us at the restaurant. i wanted to tell them how much i appreciated their support, their love and care over the past 24 years of my life. i wanted to tell them, that though this birthday is supposedly to celebrate me, i wanted to celebrate them. how often do we ever share with our parents these thoughts? unfortunately, my mom took longer than expected, so i never had a chance to sit down with both of them to express my thoughts with them. i'll have to get them together later so i can do this. at the very least, i'll e-mail them, because i won't see my parents at all today.

birthdays are a great time for reflection, to look back on all that God has done and celebrate Him for it, but also to look at where we are in life and to ask ourselves some questions. in the x number of years on earth, how have we been living for the glory of God? have we been sharing our faith with others? in the past year, have we grown deeper and more mature in our faith? have we been bearing more fruit? are we more Christ-like? are we still struggling with the same things?

i look at my life and give praise to God for how He's carried me constantly throughout life, especially through the past few years. i praise Him for His faithfulness and loving kindness on me. i praise Him for this past year, for the friendships i've made at tyndale and for all the things i've learnt and experienced (i'll save this for another post). i praise God for the close friends in my life.

lastly, i think we should also celebrate the other people in our lives, namely our friends. the person who we are today has been influenced by those around us, for better or for worse. i have shared many wonderful moments with my closest friends. i have been shaped constantly by their encouragement, support and perspectives and i appreciate that so much. eric, on his 23rd birthday, decided that he would make his birthday not about himself, but the other people in his life. he e-mailed his closest friends and encouraged them by how they've touched his life. today, i will follow in his footsteps and do the same. i have so much to learn from the life my brother lived.

i eagerly wait and anticipate all that will come this year. i am excited for what God will do in and through me. my prayer, is by this time next year, i will have grown in more Christ-likeness, i will have grown in wisdom and maturity, and i will have grown in my identity in Christ. my desire is to become the man God has called me to be, in ever increasing fullness.

so, as i celebrate today, here's to my parents and to God for breathing in me the gift of life and to my friends. i love you all.

holy over me

April 3, 2006

i feel in love with a song over the weekend. it's called "holy over me" by christy nockels. she sung it at 7:22 this past week, so check it out! i was working away on an assignment friday evening. i loaded up the 7:22 for the week and had it play on the background. when christy started praying before the sung begun, i stopped everything. there was something special in that moment. i knew i had to pay attention. this song is a wonderful confession, reminding ourselves that God is above everything, above our circumstance, our troubles, our lives. there is nothing we need to do but rest in the fact that God is holy over us.

so, i decided to record this song and share it with the rest of you.

http://www.pixelsparks.com/mp3s/holyoverme.mp3. you can click the link to stream it or you can download it. to download, right click the link and go to "save target as" or "download linked file as"

here are the lyrics to the song:

Your love has come and taken over me
Your love has caused these blinded eyes to see
You come and fill this empty life I bring
You're holy holy over me

My body and my soul are Yours to keep
Come make Your temple here with liberty
I lay me down for You have promised me
You're holy holy over me

Holy Holy over land and seas
Holy holy over galaxies
Holy holy over deepest needs
You're holy holy over me

Your love does not depend on what I do
Your love is freedom and it pleases You
You come and cover me in loving truth
You're holy holy over me

leadership: forging a new path

April 2, 2006

have you ever had to follow a slow car on the highway? i have on numerous occasions. sometimes i might follow the car for a while, but more often than not, i'll change lanes to pass.

one day, as i was driving home on the 404, i was caught behind a line of slow cars. it was an on-ramp with two lanes. all the cars were in the left lane (mine included). i noticed that all the cars were slow because the lead car was slow. the right lane was completely clear. not wanting to wait so long, i decided to change lanes to pass. i wondered why more people didn't do it. maybe because they were comfortable following the slow car. maybe they didn't want to waste energy bothering with it. maybe they were afraid of the potential risk involved. i mean after all, you would have to switch lanes, pass the slow car and switch back to the left lane (the right lane was ending in the distance). a driver in this situation had three choices: one, follow the lead car, two, follow the lead car and complain (why are we moving so slow?), three, don't follow the lead car and pass.

from that, i started to think about leadership. what happens when your leader(s) move at a rate that is too slow or in disagreement of where you'd like to go? do you simply follow them? or do you follow them and complain (there are many people that grumble under certain leaders but never do anything about it!)? or do you take initiative and do something about it (like switch lanes and move ahead)?

i'm the type of person that would take initiative to do something about it, even if it's something simple like asking questions. i will not follow a leader simply because they are a leader. i must be convinced of the direction they are heading towards and their reasons for it. if i am not, like the traffic situation, i will switch lanes and move to pass.

being an idealist, i have ideas on how everything should be. with regards to the church, there's a certain picture i have of it in my head. too often i have seen leaders cop out of attempting new things or accelerating the pace of ministry (i mean moving it forward, not just being satisfied with it being "good") for whatever reason. it is difficult to sit under these leaders, because you don't want to undermine their authority.

the more i think about the leadership structure of a church, the more i see how vital the senior pastor is. he/she is the one who sets the direction of the church. if you are in not agreement of where they are heading, perhaps it's not the right church for you to be at. church members hardly have much say over the direction, core values, mission statement, etc. this is decided by staff, deacons and elders.

i wonder how many of us know all these different things about our churches. i have to be honest, i don't. i have no idea what the vision/mission/values of my church. but this is something that has been on my mind for a long time now. if we are going to commit ourselves at our church for an extended period of time (which we should!), we'd better understand what it's all about and where it's headed. otherwise, we may be doing a disservice to the church and to ourselves if we participate and lead ministries that head in other directions.